I’ve recently broken up with my partner of a few years.
On the day we split we had found an article online about codependent relationships and a lot of things ring true although neither of us have an addiction or health problem, and we both could have been seen as the enabler to some extent, and both have the fear of abandonment. He has cripplingly low self esteem and people pleases, which involved lying to me. I kept giving him his ‘final chance’ and he kept hurting me. This has eventually destroyed us. I need to be strong now and not give him any more chances but my god it is so hard.
In another previous relationship he had mental health issues and I definitely felt like the ‘fixer’ in that and when he ended things I was utterly distraught and felt lost - but also somewhat relieved I didn’t have all his issues to deal with.
It’s got me thinking about my childhood and I think that my DM may be codependent in her relationship with me, but again definitely not abusive - more overbearing and over sharing. When I was primary aged parents had some severe relationship issues, and my DM made no secret of telling me all the gory details about it when I was about 12-13 and often early brings it up even now (they are still together but she has given him multiple chances). She will often overshare very private issues with me about their marriage. Sometimes I wish she would just back off a bit from me, but if I suggest this she gets all offended and hurt (but not nasty).
I don’t know if this has formed some kind of premise for how I feel I should be treated in a relationship (like a doormat giving multiple chances). She wants to know everything about me - what my plans are, who I’ve seen, what I’ve done, will text me multiple times a day even if I don’t reply. When I mentioned my breakup with her, she suggested I keep in touch with him in case he needs someone to talk to whilst he goes through therapy. My Dad also suggested that I shouldn’t cut him off in case he goes off to do something silly. Something inside me thinks, hold up what about me here and my own mental health?
I’ve seen some videos on YouTube about codependency and read some threads on here and whilst some of it really strike a chord, I don’t feel my situation is as extreme as that.
I don’t know whether I need to book myself onto some counselling, and they’d help me figure it out. I don’t know what I’m looking for from this thread just feeling very confused and like a bit of a head case 
Ps ignore my username, definitely NOT looking…