My husband (together 14 years) is being nothing but plain right horrible to me, talking down and nasty to me in front of people and our 11 year old daughter. It's so embarrassing and is really affecting our daughter who burst into tears yesterday.
Its because I won't keep giving him money and covering all our joint outgoings. I'm currently on the sick due to my line manager not being replaced and being told I must do all his work as well as mine with no extra capacity or money to do it. As hard as I have tried doing it, I found it really impossible to do two full time jobs and got so stressed out with it. So I'm currently on the sick but still covering half of our mortgage and all other bills. I have no problem at all with this.
My husband who's self employed had been really busy with work but despite knowing my work situation and that we had some big bills coming up, he didn't bother to save any money. But kept splashing out on things for him/his hobby. Now them big bills are landing and his work has gone real quiet he expects me to pay them all and because I won't he speaks to me in such a vile nasty tone, belittling me in front of others, upsets our daughter and creates a terrible atmosphere. This isn't the first time, and he reminds me of that Geoff Metcaffe from coronation Street. I feel myself crumbling away as a person, I feel destroyed.
In the past I've given in and just paid all our bills and giving him more money for spending, just to keep the peace, but I think that he should at the age of 50 now be able to understand a little bit about saving and priorities. Instead he is choosing to buy and spend out whenever he has a bit of spare income, which I feel just shifts all his responsibilities to me.
Another example, I bought a new car 11 years ago. He chooses the car then I bought it out of my own money, paid all road tax, insurance for both of us to drive it, mot, repair and maintenance costs for it myself despite him using it too and it was used as our family car. My car had a number of issues so I had to get rib of it recently. I asked him if I could use his vehicle now for our food shopping and running our daughter to club, but he's made it extremely clear he's not happy with that unless I pay the road tax and insurance for it. I've explained that he has used mine for the past 11 years and contributed nothing to its running costs plus I'm only using it for our food shopping because he won't go to the shops etc but now I feel trapped here too ashamed to borrow his vehicle again.
Plus he has been invited to go on a hunting trip with in November at the cost of £600 pounds, I know he will find the money for that and has told them he wants to go. I thinks that's fine but he should prioritise his half of the mortgage etc first and only go away if he has spare money after our responsibilities, as they are supposed to be joint responsibilities and not just mine.
This has gone on for some time now and like I say I normally end up feeling sorry for him and just covering his side of our mortgage, our bills etc. But I'm fed up of him just spending instead if saving a little when it's going well for him. Am I right to say no I'm not doing it no more?