Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Talk some sense into me !!!

13 replies

galactics · 17/08/2021 21:45

Boyfriend of a year... meet every weekend and spend eow together as we both have kids . Got through lockdown together and have enjoyed the freedoms of the last few weeks together and with family / friends .
Enjoyed a week holiday together recently and missed each other very much when we went back to real life .
This weekend however we will meet on sat pm . We always meet on Friday pm
And are so excited to see each other . He says he needs to go home using a reason of having to collect something , which. Could easily be organised through week.
I feel a bit deflated and a bit hurt and also feel ridiculous as we are grown adults who are so Close to our respective families ! I had looked forward to meeting him on Friday . I saw him Last on Sunday .there are noises about meeting up with an old friend for a catch up.
We will spend Saturday evening until Monday morning together .
I am being ridiculous aren't I ? It's just he has always put me First after his kids , but he won't be seeing them This weekend .

OP posts:
galactics · 17/08/2021 22:08

Am I being needy here ? It's just that we always spend our free weekends together

OP posts:
premium77 · 17/08/2021 22:10

Yes you are, one weekend spent with others is fine

Percypigg · 17/08/2021 22:13

Take a breath and a step back. You're being needy and a bit unreasonable to be honest.

galactics · 17/08/2021 22:15

Thanks for those honest words. I need pulling back! I guess lockdown was so intense and actually lovely but joe that we are free , real life is coming back and I am
Trying to get my head round it

OP posts:
TheFoundations · 17/08/2021 23:22

I think that he needs to know how needy you are, if it's 2% or 97%

There is no 'right' level of feeling need. People in relationships need to be compatible. So if you're all shaken up by something and you just don't tell him, then you're not really being the full 'you' around him. The fact that you've come to a forum denotes a communication problem in your relationship. What stops you saying to him 'Urgh, when you said that, I really panicked!'? Is it fear of how he'd view that response?

SilverRoe · 17/08/2021 23:41

But if i’ve got this right you are spending the weekend together - Saturday to Monday? And he just wants Friday night to himself?

If that’s correct please relax..it’s one night!

sunnyzweibrucken · 17/08/2021 23:47

Most def being needy. You two spend a lot of time together, skipping Friday is no big deal. I’d be happy to have a down day to myself and enjoy the alone time.

TheFoundations · 17/08/2021 23:57

@sunnyzweibrucken

Most def being needy. You two spend a lot of time together, skipping Friday is no big deal. I’d be happy to have a down day to myself and enjoy the alone time.
Where are the rules for how needy we're allowed to be? I've seen relationships where one partner is way more needy than I'd be able to deal with, and others where I'd be found way too needy. What makes you think that you know better than anybody else about what the right level of needy is?

The thing in relationships is that if one person says the other is too needy, what they are essentially saying is 'You are being too needy for me' It's not about a set of external rules.

AtrociousCircumstance · 18/08/2021 00:00

I think it may be the fact that you usually meet on Friday night and can’t wait to see each other, and suddenly he’s changed the routine for what seems to be a nothingy reason. So I get where you’re coming from.

Sakurami · 18/08/2021 00:55

Hi op. I started my relationship during lockdown and this summer I haven't seen him as much because I have been catching up with friends in a way that I haven't been able to during lockdown. He is more flexible because his kids are older and away doing their stuff. Mine are younger so obviously when I have them I am with them.

SilverRoe · 18/08/2021 01:36

But if i’ve got this right you are spending the weekend together - Saturday to Monday? And he just wants Friday night to himself?

If that’s correct please relax..it’s one night!

galactics · 18/08/2021 13:56

Thanks . You are all right but I think @AtrociousCircumstance nailed it . It's just a change in our usual arrangements . The funny thing is that I've done the exact same so as to meet my friends alone so double standards at my end . Thanks for replies .

OP posts:
galactics · 18/08/2021 21:00

So we talked and he just wants to do some business and spend time with his folks for the night . As @AtrociousCircumstance said , it's just that we always look forward so much to seeing each other after the five days and I have had a particularly tough and sad week . I would have liked the comfort of seeing him on Friday too tbh so I think I am being selfish as I am used to our routine since lockdown . Maybe it will take time to get used to our new normal . I
Really the only person he sees most weekends besides his children of course and he is very close to his folks .

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread