Men and terrible conversation

[DuchessOfDisaster]

Is this a general thing?

I have a friend, male, and we go to football matches together. He's a disaster when it comes to his love life. I saw him last Saturday for the first time since all the lockdowns when we went to the match. We went for lunch first and we were chatting, or what passed for it.

All he talked about was football, and if I changed the subject and talked about anything else, all he said was "Sure". I felt like he wasn't even listening, or that he just wanted an audience. He didn't comment on or ask me anything about what I talked about.

He's not a really close friend. We only see each other for occasional football matches (he has moved away so doesn't go to every home game) so it's not a big deal, but it was frustrating at the time. I simply gave up and talked football and listened to him - it was simpler.

I'm not sufficiently bothered to try and change him. We only see one another once in a blue moon and talk on social media the rest of the time. My own partner is an interesting conversationalist when he isn't (thankfully only occasionally) trying to be funny. It got me thinking - how common is this? Men and terrible conversation?

Apart from my partner I have much better conversations with my girlfriends!

@Brimorion

Why would you choose to have people in your life who bore you? I get that this is a peripheral friend, but I wouldn’t go for lunch with, far less couple up with, someone who wasn’t a good talker.

He's recently had a tough time, he hasn't been to football since before covid and was really looking forward to the game. He'd have gone on his own had it not been for me. I've already decided I am not going to meet him again for some time, if at all.

I wasn't posting this as a problem or asking for advice, but rather to find out if it is a common thing, really.

@Sally2791

The cynic in me thinks he’s not going to make conversational effort unless a shag is on the cards. He sounds a bit dull, perhaps go to the football with a more interesting friend.

I am in a relationship, so that's never going to happen and he knows that. Not that it has ever come up in conversation and I don't think he finds me attractive, and I certainly don't fancy him.

@chocolateorangeinhaler

He's sticking to the topic of a shared hobby. Why would he digress into talking about his love life? That would be really odd. You say he's not a close friend and you see each other once in a blue moon. Maybe you're more into it than he is and he's just trying to appear polite.

This made me laugh, it is completely wrong. Absolutely not. This is simply not how it is. I didn't ask about his love life or want to talk about it. He is the one who instigates the football meet ups, not me. I'm actually not into it at all, truth be told.

He has shared this sort of information with me in the past though, (girlfriend problems) but that wasn't talked about this time.

My OP was a simple observation. I wasn't asking for advice and don't have a problem.

In fairness, he was clearly as bored by your conversation as you were by his. For whatever reason, you just weren't connecting.

I often think one subject is not inherently more interesting than another, it just comes down to shared interest and compatible personalities.

Oh my goodness torquewench - must be fun

Would there be a reaction if you said beans on toast :) ?