What's the fucking point ? Dinner x partner

[panauchocolat]

Hi,
I love cooking and I try to make at least 4 dinners a week - home cooked from scratch meals- weekends we order something or just snack and have Yumi stuff.
My partner works... like everybody else- believe him or not- 8am to 6pm.
It's a forever fight...as during holidays he leaves to work earlier, around 7:40 and every single day comes back bloody later than he is used to...without telling me. And I have to call him let's say 6:30 because this is the time that he can easily be at home for us to have dinner- that is already made and getting cold because I don't know where the fuck he is....and the answer is always the same... I'm at the door.

You know. I am just really pxxxxed of that I bother to make a nice dinner and is always cold, and I always have to call to ask where he is.... what am I doing wrong ? What would you do ?

I already stopped making dinner for "us" and just feeding the kids at 5pm before, to avoid the stress and leaving him to deal with his dinner alone....but I come and go with being nice and wanting us to be together at dinner and start making it again.

Pls give me some light because I am so u happy !
What should I do ?

Thank you

Personally I would just make dinner for you and the kids and eat at whatever time suits you. If you're very nice you could leave him a portion in the fridge for him to heat up when he arrives? I wouldn't call him, just say tea's at 6.30 or 7 or whenever, leave it up to him!

@ButFirstTea

Personally I would just make dinner for you and the kids and eat at whatever time suits you. If you're very nice you could leave him a portion in the fridge for him to heat up when he arrives? I wouldn't call him, just say tea's at 6.30 or 7 or whenever, leave it up to him!

Thank you 🙏🏻 that sounds like a solution.

It makes me feel so much better.
I will do myself and kids something and won't bother with the elaborated dishes I used to do for him... I need to lose weight anyway so it will do me a favor !

Thank you

I’d speak to him first and tell him (if you haven’t) that eating together is important to you and that you’d like him home and sat at the table by 18:30 and if he isn’t going to make it you’d appreciate him letting you know before 6pm. Then I’d eat at 18:30 and if he wasn’t home I’d put his portion in the fridge and let him heat it up later.

Or if the kids are too little to eat that late then feed them, and you half the time, earlier and him later (and you the other half of the time).

Leave it to go cold if he’s not home. What if he is stuck in traffic?

I’m a single parent be lovely for someone to make me tea.

@Peace43

I’d speak to him first and tell him (if you haven’t) that eating together is important to you and that you’d like him home and sat at the table by 18:30 and if he isn’t going to make it you’d appreciate him letting you know before 6pm. Then I’d eat at 18:30 and if he wasn’t home I’d put his portion in the fridge and let him heat it up later.

Or if the kids are too little to eat that late then feed them, and you half the time, earlier and him later (and you the other half of the time).

Thank you. I already spoke to him before. It all repeats all the time.

He promises he won't be late, or if so, that he will let me know in advance.. then he follows up with the agreement for 1 week, next week he is back doing it all over again.
:(
It's draining and is putting me off even considering him as a partner as I feel alone most of the time.

I will take care of myself and kids and see how it will be from ow on.

Thank you for your advice .