I’m so BORED

[Boredandbored]

I’m just ranting really here. Me and my boyfriend have been going through a roughish time. We have a 2 year old and he works away during the week. We recently agreed to have a date night once a month to make time just for us. He’s expressed in the past he feels like I’m lacking affection and I don’t make an effort

Our first date night came up, I booked it all. Brought a new outfit and he said he was really tired could we stay in? I was really disappointed but anyway I then made the effort to have a film night which basically is what we do anyway. I’ve tried to make so much effort, letting him know how I feel about him. Supporting him, we have sex weekly so I don’t see how I’m not affectionate. And it feels like he’s not reciprocating. I know if I bring it up he will dismiss it or say I’m trying to make an arguments but I’m not.

We talk during the week but it’s always boring conversation, no phone calls, barely any jokes and honestly I’m so so bored. How can I communicate this with him? We just had this talk last month and I feel like he failed at the first hurdle.

Honestly it sounds boring. I have more fun by myself and I am single. I think some time apart would be good. I know yu say he works away but I think a real break would be good. Maybe you can take your child and go visiting family and friends for a couple of weeks. Just the two of you. You can then get your head together and figure out next steps. Sometimes things just don't work out I'm afraid.

But also that doesn't mean this won't. You may be in a rut. Maybe it is just done. Do you have any reason to suspect he has someone else where he works?

I know if I bring it up he will dismiss it or say I’m trying to make an arguments but I’m not

That doesn't sound good. Does he usually dismiss your feelings like this?

It is really boring. I even told him I was bored and he just sort of said what do you want me to do?

He does dismiss my feelings a lot or calls me sensitive. It’s bad but I’ve noticed i try to suppress my feelings or walk on eggshells with him. Sometimes he’s open up for proper communication it’s just weird.

Yes, i thought there might be a bit of a backstory. If you're in a relationship with someone who dismisses your feelings, it feels very boring because they're not interested in the depths of you. You have to sort of stop being you.

Being called sensitive isn't good at all. We're all sensitive to some things. Partners are supposed to be gentle and careful with our sensitivities, not call us out on them.

Do you actually want to have sex with him, or are you just in a routine/feeling obliged? I don't think I'd be wanting to; having someone disrespecting your emotions is the ultimate turn off.