Obviously I knew I was getting nothing and was curious.
Bit of background. She was a nasty narc. Physically and emotionally abusive to me and my brother. She and my dad divorced before she died, she was physically abusive to him before the divorce. He died soon after the divorce. I could write a book on the stuff she did to me. Overall very critical and interfering. Insisted on coming to my dad’s funeral even though she wasn’t welcome, told me I couldn’t stop her.
She was nasty about me and my brother to my (then) 11yo Dd and dd repeated what had been said. My brother called her (mum) out on it and she denied saying it. She said my dd was a liar and needed to be in a mental institution (I believe dd). My brother told her we were both sick of her behaviour and if she wanted a relationship with us we needed to sit down and have a talk and her behaviour needed to change. She flounced off and apart from the odd abusive letter we never heard from her again.
Six years later (end of last year) she died. I got a nasty letter from beyond the grave telling me how much she hated me, how she hopes dd will be as nasty to me as I was to her (I haven’t done anything apart from refuse to be abused any more). Letter said I was disinherited (I’d guessed as much)
So her estate was worth nearly half a million. I was curious as to who she has left money to…..I’d figured a neighbour who I knew had helped her out a bit and maybe the church.
She has split her estate into 20ths and given various people either one 20th or 2x 20ths. Mostly old family friends, so people I knew as a kid. But unless they got closer in the last six years (unlikely as geographically distant) some of them are people she’s seen about 3 or 4 times in the last 20 years and apart from exchanging Xmas cards with had no other contact.
This has pissed me off more than if she’d left all her money to the church/neighbour. I don’t know why as it would make no difference to me. I suppose I always wondered if she might leave some money to Dd or to my nephew but obviously not. Instead she left it to people she hardly knew who are wealthy baby boomers like her, but also in their 80s so effectively it’s their kids who she doesn’t know who will benefit.
I know I need to let it go. Ultimately losing my inheritance was worth the weight which has been lifted off my shoulders the last few years. I’m also pissed off as I’ve heard on the grapevine she’s spent the last few years telling all her friends and neighbours what a nasty, selfish Dd I was. In one of the letters she wrote me she said how I’d cut contact with her once she became to old to be of any use to me. The sad thing is she probably believed that….she had a weird ability to totally rewrite history and to believe her new version….a version where she was the innocent victim.