Friend ghosting for no reason

[annnonn]

As title says... We are in our thirties, both single. Been close friends for nearly 10 years. Even since she moved away from our hometown, we have always messaged and spoke on the phone etc.

Since this year, I just feel she has become increasingly distant. I have seen her in person just once when she came down to visit family.

Nothing I can think of has really changed. I got a new job this year and I was upset that she didn't seem too interested to ask how its going etc, that was the first instance I felt the distance. We have both gone through some rubbish relationships but always supported each other and I know she has had some rubbish dating experiences, but she has always told me about them and we've had a laugh about them. Now I don't know anything that's going on in her life as she doesn't ever get in touch anymore.

I have reached out a few times (once a month) and we usually go back and forth just a couple of texts where-as usually would chat all evening. I know she is back in town and social media suggests she is meeting up with other friends. I messaged her to ask how she was and she just asked how I was doing but didn't give anything away. Then the conversation just died a death as she didn't return my last message when I asked how being back has been and what she has been up to.

It just feels out of character from her, and I do think its just me shes doing this to, but I can't think i've done anything wrong.

She isn't the type to accept any drama and usually just switches off from it so I haven't wanted to ask.

I just know the past few times, its been me reaching out, her responding pretty soon, but then after a couple of messages she just stops replying. Its making me feel really rubbish. :(

As shes back in town I had hoped/thought she might tell me she is back and arrange to meet up, but she hasn't. Although as I said, she is seeing lots of other people.

I guess i'm being ghosted.

Is she still single? There's no way she could be seeing one of your exes, is there? That happened to a friend of mine - her friend went MIA and next thing was living with her ex.

Forget her. I had a friend do this. We work together though, so I had to put up with her letting doors go in my face and being openly ignored in front of colleagues.

Don't let it make you feel rubbish. If there's a problem in a friendship with a respectful person, they'll talk to you about it. It really is that simple.

Focus on learning to walk away from unhealthy situations, if this is giving you trouble. It's a good skill to have and will stand you in good stead when you come across disrespectful people in the future. Make it all about you, and your self improvement.

Even if she came back, it would be hard to trust her not to start being crappy again, wouldn't it? That was the realisation that helped me let go of my 'friend'; her behaviour was so peculiar and unfathomable, that I would never know if she might not do it again at any moment, so I wouldn't be able to ever feel close to her again.

@HollowTalk As far as i am aware, she is still single, however, since she never gets in touch anymore, I can't know for sure.

Its just weird as we always kept each other up to date and I considered her one of my closest friends.

Sometimes people just grow apart. There are a couple of friends I've let go in a similar way. I had my reasons but didn't feel they were worth sharing or trying to sort out. I wouldn't worry about it too much. She probably has her own reasons that are nothing to do with you.

@Addicted2LoveIsland

Sometimes people just grow apart. There are a couple of friends I've let go in a similar way. I had my reasons but didn't feel they were worth sharing or trying to sort out. I wouldn't worry about it too much. She probably has her own reasons that are nothing to do with you.

Do you not think your friends will have worried and wondered what went wrong? Do you simply not care about that?

Not really. I had my reasons and I don't need to justify it. They haven't asked and I don't particularly want to seek them out which is why I went my own way in the first place. I don't think they were the sort of friends I needed in my life for various reasons. They know I am alive from social media etc. Honestly if someone did it to me it really wouldn't bother me. I have so much serious stuff going on at the moment that take precedent - like dealing with my dad's death, looking after my mum, running a business and trying to move house.