DP relieved about my miscarriage

[theworldsbiggestcrocodile]

I had a miscarriage about a month ago. The pregnancy was unplanned and it was quite early on-9 weeks or so.
I would like a baby but I'm not desperate for one. Nevertheless I've found the whole thing quite upsetting. DP is in the middle of a very stressful situation with his ex wife and some other work stuff. I've hidden most of how I feel about the miscarriage from him due to that, though he did know I was sad about it.
We've discussed it this evening and he's said he was relieved about it. He recognised that jars with how I feel about it. At least he's been honest I suppose but it's made me feel really rubbish. I don't know how we sort this out now-I'm really upset.
On one level I realise it's silly to be sad about a baby that was barely even a thing, and that might not have been ideal, and I don't want it to wreck our relationship. On the other hand I feel really disconcerted that he would feel relieved about it and not sad at all. It's making me question the whole relationship. Has anyone any advice for how to get past this?

Because my periods are irregular. And DP had to have IVF for his girls. So it didn't seem highly likely that I would get pregnant without at least trying to work out dates or intervention or whatever.

Not ‘highly likely’, but seems you were both too cavalier about it!

It sounds to me like you need a real life person to talk to, cry to and hug. Not your husband. Not MN.

I feel for you. It's a lot.

YANBU for how you felt but neither is he

He is quite highly strung I guess. And I'm laid back and in that way we work well as a couple. I don't see it as a chore to support him and he brings stuff to me that I wouldn't necessarily get on my own-he's ambitious and he drives certain other aspects of our relationship so it has balanced out. Until now because I'm not myself and that's throwing the rest off kilter...

Hmm, but actually you can't rely on always being the together, upbeat person in the couple. Shit happens.

I don't think a relationship that only works when you don't need emotional support is that great.

Sorry for your loss.