When did you know it was over?

[shhsecretsquirrel]

There have been so many near misses with my DH. Nothing particularly spectacular until recently but I have now moved out of home with our DC. We had talked about trying again, but whilst he's agreeing to the practical side of things we've just had a bicker over the telephone about him not being able to even acknowledge the emotional changes he needs to make. He's said he doesn't do "emotions" So. Yeah. End of the road?

Her face the next day after having her ex in to help build some cupboards.

When he didn't care or understand that I didn't find him sexually attractive any more because he was boring and played dumb computer games and had no interesting conversation to offer and always sat on the fence with his opinions. I felt dead inside

When the other one didn't care I was stranded having missed my train in another city late at night on my own

When the one had nothing to say when I got Covid and my son was panicking about it even though we'd had an intimate encounter just days previously. It was like he was emotionally dead

Loads more but some of them are outing so won't describe them here. Most of them relate to insensitivity, lack of compassion, or downright abuse.

When I was telling him about my day and he said, "Are you nearly finished? sounds boring as fuck".
When I dreaded seeing his car pull on the drive in the evening
When I realised I'd be quite happy never sharing a bed with him again

I realised a long time before having the courage to do anything about it. Stayed for the dc

When I was shown a photo on Facebook of him and his other woman in Chester Zoo when he told me he was working away in Nottingham. They were dating for a whole year.
I had no idea.

When I had been unhappy for a long time, told him where I was unhappy but that didn’t change, his smoking and drinking got worse, lots of excuses, ex massively hanging on in his life, no plans, disrespect came into it to a high degree, I wrote down the pros and cons of the relationship and there were 10 cons, sod that life is far too short!

@WhatdoIsaytothem that’s awful , feel for you there x

I knew it was over when

• I couldn’t stand even his elbow brushing against my arm in bed.

-he got home late from work and I was slightly disappointed he came home at all. -every time he spoke I felt irritated. -the sound of him chewing made me want to punch him in the face. 😆 -couldn’t stand the thought of kissing him or anything else for that matter

• I used to hope that he’d meet someone else and fall in love with her (I tried ending it lots of times but felt too guilty when he cried etc) 😳

One day I found out he had been cheating on my fit our entire relationship- I was SO excited when I found the messages as it was finally an excuse to LTB without feeling guilty!!

Is it worth giving another go if I'm not at the stage where he repulses me yet? On paper we have a great life, he just has the emotional maturity of a gnat.

OP, time to let it go, it's already dead.

Don’t waste you life on a person who doesn’t love abs respect you. I wasted 6 years. Life is too short

Looking at his gormless stupid slack jawed face and knowing I'd never have anything exciting in my life again if I stayed with him.
The next thing he knew I was a star shaped dot on the horizon, finally living the life I want to leave.

@shhsecretsquirrel

Is it worth giving another go if I'm not at the stage where he repulses me yet? On paper we have a great life, he just has the emotional maturity of a gnat.

If you're asking a bunch of strangers on the internet, the relationship is over. He would be the person you'd be discussing this with, if you wanted it to work.

I think you're looking for validation in your decision to leave. Are you hoping you'll get 100 people all saying 'You're totally justified in leaving'?

One other question: Do you live your life on paper?

Why else is going on, do you have kids, are you wanting to conceive your first ? Do you actually want to try again, or do you think it will end one way no matter how many times you try ?

When I kissed his brain dead body goodbye in ITU before they took him to theatre to harvest his organs for transplant.
Although I kept dreaming he was still alive for years. Still miss him, 30 years later.
Sorry, OP, I know that’s not the same as your situation. Your title just stirred my memories.