Is this even a relationship

[Angelinaa1x]

Just need some advice but im feeling so so so lonely well have most of my relationship.. Me and husband have 3 kids my husband ever since our marriage has been super busy with work. He works from morning 9am and doesn't get in 11 sometimes 12pm. Im actually so fed up with this all!

I was working till my last born and currently on maternity so moneys not an issue.. Im also paying most bills like water, gas, council tax, shopping. He hardly pays towards anything other then his own stuff. So i dont even see why hes working long hours.

I feel resentful as im doing everything, cooking, cleaning, all day with kids and even weekends we hardly spend together. If were lucky he will have Saturday off and i have to make plans so we can do stuff as a family.

He knows i suffer from Arthritis which causes me alot of pain and i wish i just had someone who understands.

When i speak about how he should be here home at a decent time to be here with us in the evenings before kids bedtime he just says fuck off you just moan all the timeand hangs up, Leaving me feel even shitter!!!!!!

Am i in the wrong

What does he do that allows him to work so late?

Telling you to fuck off isn't on, I'm not surprised you feel bad.

Sounds like he's checked out. Minimising time at home, not investing in your relationship...

What's the point of him if you barely see him, he does fuck all around the house & with the kids, he's no physical or emotional support to you, and he's not even the main breadwinner?!

You'd be better off without him. At least you wouldn't also be constantly dealing with the feelings of rejection on top of everything else.

Is he actually at work until those hours?
Where else does he go?
He isn’t interested in the family or running of the house, or you.
I’m sorry it has come to this.
You deserve so much better.
I would start by trying to find out what he is doing until those late hours and go from there.
Good luck OP

When did the relationship change? You say he has worked like this since marriage and you have had 3 children with his work arrangement from the start. All I can see that’s changed is the awful way he speaks to you. Fundamentally his work structure hasn’t changed. What also has changed is you are now fed up and expressing yourself now, which I assume you didn’t before. Sounds like he has completely checked out of the marriage. Not sure if it can be fixed as he seems to enjoy working all these hours (what job is it? Very odd and long working hours.). If he won’t change, which is unlikely, then it’s time for you to change and figure out if divorcing is your next step.

Poor you - he doesn’t want to change and telling you to F off isn’t respectful or loving.
You are already a single parent.
What happens at the weekend? When he’s off work?
I hope you have family support.
Can you think about ending the relationship.
He maybe a work acholic?

Hes checked out , I would really evaluate everything.
He really does nothing for you .
Have a serious conversation but it may not come to anything but at least you've tried.
Then tell him to leave listing all the reasons and move on with life .

Why the hell would you want to stay married to someone that treats you with such contempt?

Maybe it's a good thing he is gone all day. Because he is an utter fucking wanker.

he just says fuck off

You know you shouldn't stay with someone like this. Do you think he's actually working all those hours? I'd be very surprised if he is.

Financially, could you cope on your own? Google 'Entitled to calculator' - you can fill in your details and it'll say what you should be entitled to if you separate. Then go to the child support calculator and do the same there. This guy has checked out.

Why are you concerned whether you're in the wrong or not? Even if you are, a relationship with someone who's good for you wouldn't yield a 'fuck off' and a bunch of negative stuff.

Is there a part of you inside that's already told you that, but you doubt her voice? I'm assuming that there is, otherwise you wouldn't have posted..?