Is it acceptable

[Flowerpops22]

I've been married 7 years but with my hubby for 18 years. Since I was 16.

Pretty much from the get go I remember being a teenager and him accidentally sending drunk texts to me that we're meant for some one else.

When I was around 21 I was fed up with it. But put it down to us being so young. I did go through a phase of wanting to end it with him but I just think low self esteem and loving him so much I carried on. I don't regret because I have to lovely children now.
But when I was pregnant with my second I found a message to another women saying a miss u. And messaging stupid gifs or memes to "friends"
When I had my 1st 2 weeks later he started a new job instantly got on with this women at work and they have been friends ever since 7 years ago I may add. I had a new born baby and he would spend all evening after work messaging her. This has been a problem for years. Funny enough now this last year she doesn't message him and more because she has a boyfriend lol.
He was messaging a friend as well and he has come clean he fancied her.

I've not felt any thing for him other than love in the way you love a family member for around 2 years.

He is an amazing person a fab father I just think we have grown apart. As well as the damage texting other women over the years has caused me.

I feel like it's definitely over. But is this a rational reason. I don't feel sexual attracted to him any more. Now I feel it's time to change things I'm now feeling massively guilty because he's amazing.

My head is all over.

Yes, it's a rational reason to end things. Long overdue in fact.

You deserve more out of life.

He's not amazing, OP. Amazing men and good dads don't behave like this, they don't make their partners doubt themselves, they don't spend evenings messaging other women.

You have every right and very good reasons to end this relationship. You're doing the right thing. Good luck

Loads of people are amazing. Most of them aren't right for you, either. It's not something you have to feel bad about.

I imagine that if he'd treated you in an amazing way, you'd be besotted with him. But he hasn't, has he. Even if you think he's amazing in other ways, he's not treated you the way you wanted to be treated.

D'you suppose he's breaking his heart with guilt about that, or is it just you feeling guilty?

We have had a rough year and I told him I can't forgive it any more. We have been living together as friends no issues. Support each other. But we're just existing now. So I need to start the ball rolling. I feel guilty about completely every thing. Upsetting him. Breaking my family up. My kids every thing.
I'm having some therapy only reason why I have the strength start things

Breaking your family up carelessly is a thing to feel guilty about. Hurting somebody needlessly is a thing to feel guilty about. But so is staying with a partner when you know the relationship is over. That's bad for you, bad for your partner, and a terrible example to set for the children. Shown them that it's ok to do things that will ensure that your life is happy. They will follow your example. Show them that you can do it thoughtfully, and with other people's feelings in mind as well as your own. They will follow your example there, too.

Thank you. I've been having EMDR therapy dealing with child hood issues. I've never ended it with him in the past because I cared too much about every one else. I do feel it's tome I put my self first. And your right I want me kids to see me happy rather than down all the tome.
I have suffered terrible with anxiety ocd for years. I'm on the mend now so baby steps but I'm excited about my future.

Feeling guilty doesn't have to stop you. Feeling guilty is often just a sign of breaking out of your comfort zone, it's a bit like the aches you get after doing some exercise for the first time in a while - means you're using new muscles, getting stronger. So let the guilt feelings be there if they are but carry on with your courage, you're doing the right thing

You are t the one breaking the family up, he is.

OP you sound amazing - you're doing brilliantly!

He's the one that has broken up your family by acting like a single person and also being a dick.
Good luck I hope you have a happy new life free from his bullshit

Wow you sound so thoughtful. Well done for taking that step towards happiness.

I cant wait for you to find someone who is really amazing.
This guy is NOT.

@Notagain20

Feeling guilty doesn't have to stop you. Feeling guilty is often just a sign of breaking out of your comfort zone, it's a bit like the aches you get after doing some exercise for the first time in a while - means you're using new muscles, getting stronger. So let the guilt feelings be there if they are but carry on with your courage, you're doing the right thing

Never do exercise something else I really must change haha

I do feel it's tome I put my self first

Good

When you put yourself first, you put yourself in the best position to support others who need it; you'll be making the best of yourself, and it will benefit your kids.

Putting yourself first isn't selfish; it's making the best use of yourself. Selfish is when you think only of yourself, at the expense of considering others. You're in no danger of that, don't worry.

@TheFoundations

I do feel it's tome I put my self first

Good

When you put yourself first, you put yourself in the best position to support others who need it; you'll be making the best of yourself, and it will benefit your kids.

Putting yourself first isn't selfish; it's making the best use of yourself. Selfish is when you think only of yourself, at the expense of considering others. You're in no danger of that, don't worry.

Thank you