I'm looking to hear from those who maybe went through something similar, and ideally those who have found themselves in a better place...
I had a baby over a year ago, much wanted and although it's been really tough and there were a lot of low points during the first 12m (esp with Covid and lockdowns), she is now a total delight. She sleeps really well, eats well, is developing well. She and I have grown very close over the past couple of months and although obviously we still have hard times with illnesses and general toddler stress, we're in the best place we've ever been.
My marriage however, is not.
He's a great dad and a great husband. Honestly, he helps as much as he can. He's been wfh the whole time and it's been such an anchor for me to have him here. He isn't lacking in any way. Which is why I find myself so puzzled as to why we feel more distant than ever. We have been bickering constantly, it's like we're both on a hair trigger. Our sense of humour has fallen out of sync. I just don't feel that connected to him, despite him having been around the entire time.
I saw something on Insta the other day where a mum was talking about how they nearly got divorced during the first year, and it was almost like they had to get to know each other all over again and work out a new way of being together. Is this common? What can we do? We've had date nights which didn't really fix anything. It's the constant undercurrent of stress and annoyance that we can't seem to move past. I know we're both drained and tired but I really did not predict us being in this place. It feels like we're completely different people.
Help! I don't want to leave, I want to fix it.