Admitting Feelings? / Getting rid of them? (Impossible situation)

[Nel900]

Thanks to anyone reading this in advance.

I feel like I know the answer to this question but I thought it was worth asking and seeing the opinions other people have. Its been eating me up recently, and I appreciate any and all responses.

The situation I'm in is basically impossible but here goes.

Iv known this girl for around 5 years and she was dating a friend of mine but they broke up a month ago.

We've been pretty close ever since knowing each other but I never honestly had any feelings for her and once I heard she broke up with her boyfriend (my friend) its like a switch flipped. This past summer (4 weeks) we've been on vacation together including 10 other people. Its gotten to a point where I think about her constantly, and anytime I'm near her or communicate with her either through text or in person I get those feelings that are extremely good haha.

Our friendship has always been great, sometimes honestly I felt like she was doing too much but I figured because she had a boyfriend it didn't matter because we both knew it was all for fun. I also respect and am loyal to my friend so never even thought it was possible for something like this to happen.

Our friend group is huge and there's basically no chance I will ever escape seeing her probably for the rest of my life. I respect my friend and I never thought about doing anything with her in my life up until this summer.

Basically just wondering what you guys think and some things I can do to maybe ease up on my feelings and try going back to normal. Would it be extremely stupid admitting my feelings to her even if nothing happens from it? Would that be stupid?

I talk to her almost daily and its always very positive responses in terms of mood and banter etc, but could easily stop messaging her and iniating conversations, etc apart from seeing her with friends.

Iv never been in a situation like this in my life.. I feel like I'm being eaten alive from the inside haha.

I feel like the only way I can resolve this situation is to stop communicating with her unless I absolutely have too. She will question my behavior for sure but I don't see any other options.

Please be brutally honest, thank you for your time reading.

How close are you to your friend and who ended their relationship?

Why not just ask her out? She is not her exs property you know.

Listen, it's not usually...advisable to date a friends ex but it depends on circumstances. For example: if he is the one that broke up with her, the split was amicable and he is totally over her - then it is absolutely fine. Its also fine if you are both totally smitten with eachother. Do you think she could like you as more than a friend?

The 'don't date a friends ex' absolutely has clauses.

I'm pretty close with him, and they ended it mutually, wasn't working out past year they had problems constantly and are at different points in their lives, it was a long time coming according to her. He ended up deleting all pictures of them together off social media and blocked her everywhere.

Hmm, based on the update I think I would leave it.

Unless I was sure she was already really into me too.

I think if stuff just develops feeling wise in you both then you are justified in pursuing it (but be sure to have the decency to tell your friend so he doesnt hear it through the grapevine). But as is, not so much.

Maybe join a dating site n take your mind off things. Put yourself back on the dating scene. Theres plenty of other fish in the sea.

It doesn't sound like it was amicable if he blocked her and deleted all pics of her.

I think I would leave this well alone, at least for now.

@Sakurami

It doesn't sound like it was amicable if he blocked her and deleted all pics of her.

I think I would leave this well alone, at least for now.

Yeah I understand what you're saying, I agree that it's probably not as black and white as I think.

I wish they never broke up haha, I wouldn't be feeling like this or in this situation, and they wouldn't be in the situation they are in.

I feel so guilty for having these thoughts and I feel like the only way is to completely cut off communication which I also don't want to do, pretty shitty all around