Your list is a good start!
The point is, as you have recognised, that you find your 'validation' (God, I hate that word! 
) from yourself, your own successes and your own achievements, your own life, rather than requiring someone else to provide it.
It's about looking at yourself and seeing your own self worth rather than seeing yourself through the eyes of another.
I haven't read it on here for a while but it's all about becoming the 'best version of you' - what sort of person would you want to date? What would you want that person's life to look like?
So, for me, I left a very long, unhappy marriage plagued with emotional abuse; parental ill health; restrictions of young children... I had totally lost myself - no friends, no hobbies, no, interests, no self care. I literally had nothing to give or share. I also a stranger to myself.
I lost 2 stone. I wasn't 'slim' at the end of it but it took me to a weight where I was comfortable and felt I looked good; i got rid of all my 'mumsy' clothes that my ex had approved of and put my nose ring back in (he hadn't approved of that); I also completed c25k; took up yoga; dance lessons; I took up exercise classes; I started playing my musical instruments again and joined a couple of bands; I volunteered; I've friends with people and went to the theatre, ceilidhs, gigs, the theatre; I started going to gigs, festivals and camping on my own.
I tried loads of things - some of which I'd never tried and some which took me out of my comfort zone to find out what I wanted and who I was and some of which took me back to who I'd been before all the shit.
I obviously didn't do all of those things at the same time! Some i tried for a couple of months, some lasted a couple of years and some i still do now. Some taught me things about myself that I didn't already know; some gave me an insight into aspects of myself I needed to work on; some reminded me who I was.
At the same time, I created a bullet point 'pen portrait' of the person I wanted to be. It was all phrased positively (so who/what I wanted to be and not who/want I didn't want to be) and then I wrote short, medium and long term goals/targets/plans to achieve it.
Along the way, some of those goals changed. Because new, more important ones, arose or i realised I didn't actually care if I was someone eg whose nails were always painted!
It was a living/working document and not set in stone.
And i had therapy to deal with the emotional stuff.
I am unrecognisable to the person I was 10 years ago. In some respects, I'm a new person whilst being exactly who I was at 18 in others.
Good luck 