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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationship advice

2 replies

Ivy01 · 16/08/2021 01:28

Hello, I have have no one else to talk to so I thought I would ask here.
I have been with my husband for 25 years and married for 10. We have always had a great relationship. 9 months ago I got us into a bit of financial trouble, not for the first time, and he said that was it we were over. A few weeks went by and I thought things were getting better. Then I overheard a conversation he had that suggested he was interested in a another woman. I confronted him about it and he said I misheard the full conversation. For weeks I was ill, and gathering proof that he was seeing someone and eventually he confessed to having an affair for the last 3 months. We argued a lot but we decided to stay together and try to put it all behind us. The trouble is I havent, I constantly think about what he has done and i am convinced he will do it again. Am I stupid in thinking things will get better, should I cut my losses and call it quits? I just don't know. Thank you for reading and any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

OP posts:
ShitShop · 16/08/2021 02:12

You’re not stupid, you tried to put it behind you but for whatever reason you haven’t been able to, whether that’s because he hasn’t been contrite or transparent, or you just can’t get past it.

You’ve given it a go but he broke your trust and then - arguably worse - lied about it, making you question your own senses.

Don’t feel bad - it’s 100% on him. He fucked up. You tried to get over it but you can’t. Move on. You will be happier without the suspicion and paranoia hanging over you every time he’s out late or on his phone.

Enough4me · 16/08/2021 02:21

I couldn't ignore all that he has done wrong. I would seek legal advice ASAP.

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