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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why am I feeling like this

7 replies

Jojojo32 · 15/08/2021 23:22

My kids have been with thier dad today n came home telling me stuff I didn't wanna hear 🙄dad took us to a girls house, dad's been to beach n Brough us gifts back 🙄this just got me so down, Bit of background was with my ex for 6yrs known him longer, we have 2 kids together, I broke up with him after years n years of verbal abuse with lashing out here and there, he was just so vile to me n still is, he was a heavy drinker always has been, he was worse after we broke up was a useless dad for thenext year, then he stopped drinking...... Manged to make twins with someone he was sleeping with in his drunk stage.
All while claiming he loves us wants his family back etc etc, I've spend the last 2years ignoring all the threats, abuse, the love bombing just speaking about the children, but for some reason he's got to me tonight. He's running his own business which he started after lockdown is doing good,( he worked when we was together but everything went on drink,) sounds like he is now with someone else, his life is coning on while mine is the same.... Everyone knows him thinks he's great n doing so well n yet I still get the abuse I still get the threats of him just sucks, most ppl say your better of without him but how comes it seems he's better of without me?
I'm so confused has I would never get back with him but I feel so worthless tonight

OP posts:
WhatdoIsaytohim11 · 16/08/2021 00:23

Sometimes is so hard looking back. I’ve had the exact same thing tonight.
My ex didn’t treat me well and we split up. For the last year he has been seeing me and I found out last week he has had a new girlfriend for the last year.
I’m super hurt but I’ve spent today looking back over old messages, and photos… thinking of the lovely bits. It hurts when he has moved on and the girlfriend he has been cheating on has accepted his lies and he’s back in her bed.
But…. He isn’t a nice man. And neither is your ex. We are just feeling low and remembering the good bits. We should remember the honest bits, the bits that hurt us and the reason why who split from these men who aren’t the ones for us!
Once we heal, and move on..: we won’t give these individuals a second thought. It hurts now that we are lonely, that’s all.
I’m here to listen. We will get though this xx

Jojojo32 · 16/08/2021 08:33

Thank you for your reply, you defo deserve better don't give him any time of day he's not worth it x that's the thing 4 me tho I feel like I have moved on, I moved on along time ago, I don't want 2 be back with him, it's just why is it the 'bad' ones in a relationship get 2 carry on with thier lives, I don't want a new partner quite happy on my own but that seems to be a failure in some people eyes like I haven't moved on when I have.

OP posts:
WhatdoIsaytothem · 16/08/2021 10:02

We just have to stand proud and know we deserve better. Even if that better is staying single and being happy x
Good luck to you too xxxx
I’m only a week today from seeing mine so it’s still raw. But I’ve made no contact and he hasn’t contacted me and I’m determined I won’t message him again.
He was at the other woman’s house since. It’s awful but it is what it is x

Jojojo32 · 16/08/2021 16:27

See that's one thing I've been really good at I will never ever text him 1st even when we 1st broke up I just won't make that 1st move, do u have children together? U do deserve better he sounds like he was having his cake and eating it!

OP posts:
WhatdoIsaytothem · 16/08/2021 18:51

I have two children from my marriage before I met him.
I’m not doing great today. I’ve sent him an email and instantly regretted it.
I feel so sad. I just want the pain to stop.
X

Jojojo32 · 16/08/2021 22:41

Cut all ties with him, block block block, that's the only way to move on, it's hard but it's harder waiting 4 that text or email etc. What I would give 2 cut ties 4 good with my ex only another 10ish years 2 go 😑😑

OP posts:
Anordinarymum · 16/08/2021 22:44

You might hear only the good things but you know the truth.

It's good he is nice to the children.

Concentrate on the good bits and be pleased for your children and let the rest of the shite wash over you.

Hope you are OK

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