hubby no initimacy at all

[gg12346]

married for 10 years and have 1 dc only .Hubby stays in his room and with his work .He gives time to us together as family and we have a functional relationship .he has no interest in me at all .I cook , clean look after the family's home .My hubby says since I don't work and work only part time I don't need space .He will only sleep with me when I ask him to do so and spending any time with me is out of question.I am, finanically dependant on him .he is a good father and there is no abuse but Am I asking something unusual from a mariiage.I feel so lonely

We sleep separately as well

Sounds shit, why not end the marriage?

Divide the assets, go to work fulltime, live your own life. Maybe meet someone who likes you and values you.

Hardly surprising you are lonely. Any possibility you could get a job? ,Ishtar help rebalance the power in your relationship and make you feel strong enough to demand better treatment.

Do you not work at all, or do you work part time? Your post is confusing

@Custardcreams Thank you for responding ,yes I am trying hard to get a joB.Atleast my life will improve.
@category 12 .Yes its sounds very depressing and I am actually taking therapy to improve my self esteem but divorce will break our child and we both love him a lot .

Sounds like my parents marriage sleeping apart. He also sounds like he is controlling you financially which is a form of domestic violence. Have a look into this and get some support.

reading this I know one day I will fly from here as far as I could so that I dont see this man again in my life .I am only waiting for DS to be a little more grown up and take it all in .

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation I work part time only .Yes sorry for the confusion.

Don't you think growing up seeing this relationship model has its own problems? And your mental health being affected by living like this has knock on negative effects for your child too.

It's very dramatic to say divorce would break your child. If handled well and gently, it doesn't have to be a disaster for children.

@category12 I don't know but we just cant experiment at the moment .I am just trying to get hold of my own life first but sometimes it really kills me inside and so I posted it here today.

There is absolutely abuse here. This is emotionally abusive and neglectful.
You are living your life for them and what for you?
Can you get away to visit family but talk before you go to tell him how you are feeling and what you want to change then give him time to process that whilst you are away.

Just to add seperating would not break your child at all. My childhood improved massively when my parents divorced, especially as I'd already started to realise their relationship was shit after seeing friends families.

You separating and divorcing will not break your child.

It's not about experimenting.

Sometimes even considering change is frightening but it's important not to catastrophise potential outcomes, otherwise you become frozen with fear. And it is likely part of your depression and low self-esteem to catastrophise, but you need to stay aware that it is the illness talking and not necessarily the reality/truth.

Who’s idea is it to sleep separately? Have you spoken about it? The reason I ask is that lots of happy couples sleep separately but it’s not an issue for them. It’s obviously an issue if there’s no intimacy. You are effectively divorced already right now. What would it take for you to move on? What needs to happen?