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Relationships

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Divorce - what if I earn more?

18 replies

LeaveHomeNow · 14/08/2021 23:08

I think we are headed in this direction and I know I need a lawyer but was wondering if anyone knew where I would stand financially? We historically paid 50%/50% of household bills but my salary has increased to the point that I earn much more than DH. He has no pension. We don't own our own property. If it came to it, I think DC would predominantly live with me. Would I need to pay him anything? I appreciate his wage is not huge...but I would still cover most if not all child rearing costs.

OP posts:
GrandmasCat · 14/08/2021 23:15

The courts would like to leave you on an a similar position, this may mean that depending on how different your salaries are, you may get less equity, he could get part of your pension and in some cases spousal maintenance (if you are loaded and he is poor) But to be honest, I have never met a man who would demand it or expect it.

It generally boils down to who is the resident parent, as the primary interest of the courts will be the children.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 14/08/2021 23:15

Generally a 50:50 split of assets is a starting point. And child maintenance from the higher earner to the lower earner if the higher earner does less than 50% of childcare.

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 14/08/2021 23:22

If you're the only one with a pension it's most likely he'll get a percentage of your pension. Any other assets like cars, furniture, savings, shares will also need to be shared out. Same for any debts like personal loans.

If you have majority care, probably no child support will change hands.

Brakebackcyclebot · 14/08/2021 23:26

Child maintenance and splitting assets are two separate issues

BillMasen · 14/08/2021 23:58

I’ve read this post before. The phrase “increased to the point I earn more” rings a bell

Why did you make him pay 50% when you earned more?

Sampafie · 15/08/2021 08:10

Reduce your working hours for a while to Part Time until the divorce is sorted then go back to full time, where I live Men do it all the time so they dont have to pay that much. Maybe that works where you live too? You only (if at all) have to pay spousal maintenance for a short while so after that period he wont have a claim on what you earn.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 15/08/2021 08:20

See a solicitor. It sounds complicated and ransoms on the Internet are not going to give you professional advice!

AgentJohnson · 15/08/2021 08:57

@Sampafie, terrible advice.

Spousal maintenance is mostly a thing for the very wealthy, (divorce cases that reach the High Courts of Justice and make the news wealthy). Your pension is probably the asset that will be shared. As the probable resident parent and if you share contact equally, your STBEX will be expected to fund his own daily living expenses. He can claim benefits like many others on a low income.

Seek proper legal advice.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 15/08/2021 09:18

[quote AgentJohnson]@Sampafie, terrible advice.

Spousal maintenance is mostly a thing for the very wealthy, (divorce cases that reach the High Courts of Justice and make the news wealthy). Your pension is probably the asset that will be shared. As the probable resident parent and if you share contact equally, your STBEX will be expected to fund his own daily living expenses. He can claim benefits like many others on a low income.

Seek proper legal advice.[/quote]
Your pension is most likely to be shared with him. For better advice, you need a proper (not 'free') initial appointment with a solicitor.

Spousal maintenance is not the preserve of millionaires - I get it, and so do several of my friends.

gogohm · 15/08/2021 09:25

You combined assets will be split 50/50 as a starting point. If you have majority custody and both are in agreement you might be able to just walk away and take no child support in lieu of your larger pension - solicitors try to make it more complicated but judges confirming consent orders generally agree plans that are consenting

alexa677 · 15/08/2021 09:28

For maintenance the parent with the bulk of the childcare's salary is irrelevant.

If you have the dc more than 50% of the time you'll get a % of his salary regardless of what you earn.

Assets are different but if you don't own a property it might be less of an issue?

BeaBeaBuzz · 15/08/2021 09:30

What assets do you have? Property/savings/pensions? Any debt?

Sampafie · 15/08/2021 09:33

@agentjohnson

Hmm
LeaveHomeNow · 16/08/2021 00:15

We have no assets apart from my pension and an (old) car. I didn't "make" him pay 50% of costs...we both paid for all household costs together, but my salary has jumped in last few years. What we spend is probably aligned to difference in salary - but his salary has not changed for about 15 years, if not longer (has had about 4/5 jobs in this time). Not that it matters, but I was quite happy to park the career -- and went part time for about ten years when kids were younger.

OP posts:
LeaveHomeNow · 16/08/2021 00:16

No debt. Ikea furniture we are probably not going to fight over! :)

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Throwntothewolves · 16/08/2021 00:52

Any assets belong to both of you and the starting point is 50/50 to split them. It doesn't mean he will take out more than you keep because you earn more, especially if you will be the primary carer of the children. You may need to keep the house or a greater share of the equity to provide a home for them for example. You will likely lose some of your pension though if he doesn't have one, unless you trade it off against other assets.

If you care for the children more often than he will, then you will be due child maintenance from him regardless of what you earn (the money is for the kids, not you).

Spousal maintenance won't happen unless you are extremely rich, I mean millionaire level wealthy.

Whatever you decide don't let money stand in the way of your future happiness.

Sunflowergirl1 · 16/08/2021 06:15

@Throwntothewolves "Spousal maintenance won't happen unless you are extremely rich, I mean millionaire level wealthy."

That is not correct. Whilst it is definitely not the norm, and you have to be a high earner, you don't need to be in the Millionaire bracket. A friend of mine who is a doctor pays spousal.

bigbaggyeyes · 16/08/2021 06:22

If your only asset is your pension then this is likely to be the only thing to discuss, the starting point is 50/50 however a lot will depend on when you paid into this and how long you've been married. You won't be expected to pay spousal maintenance as your dh works and you say the dc won't be resident with him. A solicitor will be the best port of call but that's my take on it.

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