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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it ever OK for a woman to come a little strong in the early stages of dating even when clear strong interest is shown by the guy?

4 replies

Sarz1991 · 14/08/2021 19:04

So as I've said it's only early stages with this guy. Just 2 dates but both went really well, we got on like a house on fire, we're always laughing, and he has told me that I'm gorgeous and that he would love to see me again after our 2nd date
However I just hope I didn't come on a little strong through communicating with him after our last date. First off we are both way too nervous to kiss each other yet! So we were like 2 teens standing against my car side by side after he walked me back to my car, just smiling and looking at each other awkwardly. And of course I couldn't kiss him because I was too nervous and so was he.

So I just let him know that when I got home - that I really enjoyed the date but I was just too nervous to kiss him even though I wanted to. He echoed what I said and he'd love to meet me again. So this is where I may be coming on a little strong. I suggested that we meet Saturday eve (we had our last date on Thursday) even though I knew he did say that he had a match either Saturday or Sunday, I just couldn't remember.

So he replied saying he had the match but he'd keep me posted if he's free and we'd definitely do something. So all in all its all positive and I probably shouldn't be worrying. And he text me again Friday night asking me how I was and how I was getting on at the hotel I was staying in with my sister. So I swiftly replied and we were texting for around 2.5 hours back and forth.

Then he said he would chat to me soon as it was late. I just hope that maybe I should be holding back a little and that maybe I shouldn't have suggested meeting on Saturday so soon and I shouldn't be texting him flat out when I'm staying in hotel. I'm thinking it might turn him off me even though up until then he really fancied me. So am I over reacting or what?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 14/08/2021 19:10

My experience is that if they really like you, it doesn't make a difference and if they don't, it speeds up the end. Which is great because you don't waste time.

Oh and kiss him right at the start next time! Saves all the nerves.

junebirthdaygirl · 14/08/2021 21:43

Just be yourself as overthinking will only stop you from relaxing and enjoying the whole experience

FetchezLaVache · 14/08/2021 21:46

Overthinking! He sounds really keen and rather lovely, and if you've had two dates and not yet kissed, you've not been coming on strong enough, imo... ;)

FetchezLaVache · 14/08/2021 21:53

PS if he judges you negatively for being keen on him, he is a massive hypocritical misogynist bell-end and you have dodged a bullet, so you can't really lose either way.

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