Would u chase after the man you wanted?

[jenk1]

my sister has a new boyfriend.
she went after him, going in the pubs where he drinks, sitting next to him,texting him.

i was a little [shocked] when she told me how she got with him, bearing in mind that i havent dated for years and am going through a marriage breakup-am i behind the times, is this acceptable to do nowadays?

i had always thought "never chase after him, he will come after you if he wants you"

my sister roared laughing when i told her the way i thought!!!!!!!

I used to think like you - treat em mean and all that.

But am starting to change my ways I think, am now starting to think that life is really too short and to go for it.

If it works and you are happy, then brilliant. If not then at least you would know you'd tried, iyswim.

I do think what your sister did takes a lot of confidence though - which if you could buy in Tesco we'd all be fine with the above!

i see no harm in making the moves yourself

twenty years ago I would have done

Now I'm just too tired.

You are both right.
The man must chase the woman (hunter instinct)
But it is quite possible for the woman to engineer this without the man realising.

Gawd yes, if I'd waited for dh to make the move, he might just have got round to it about now. Although it helped that I knew he liked me .

Honesty is the way to go. Everything else is just playing games. If you play games with a man can you really complain if he plays games with you?

well i think just go for it tbh...men lack confidence too if i wait nopw i shall be kicking up daisies they either like ypou or they dont and most men are lazy

darthvader, thats another way of looking at it, she did engineer getting with him and it has obviously worked !!!!!!!

i dont think id have the bottle, when it comes to the time for me to start dating i dont think ill be as confident as my sister but she,s very happy so it was the right thing for her to do.

Depends how fast he could run.

lol

The man must always always chase the woman. However, how can he chase her if he doesn't know about her? She has to make sure he knows she is running away before he can chase her!

I am not sure about this one, I think it's damned if you do, damned if you don't. The man I want plays the game well and I am totally clueless about how to proceed. Most of the time I don't chase, send the odd text, but I wait....and wait...and wait! Feels like crap, but he usually contacts me in the end. However I don't know if it will ever be more than a game until he knows what he wants. Should stop playing really, but don't want to, I must be a sadist!!

In every species of animal, the female does the choosing. But the male has to shake his tail feathers / sing beautifully / show how strong his horns are blah blah blah in order to get the female to choose him.

And once she's chosen, it's only when she retreats again that the male chases after her & they mate.

Well that's what my cognitive behavioural therapist told me anyway!

So I guess the moral is: We have to do enough to show them we're interested, but then play a bit hard to get. Or something.

Everyone I know that has done the blatant chasing has had their heart broken because the men end up "treating them mean". Mens idea of mean is SOOO much different to womens! I personally always used the method that Darth Vader suggested-make them think they did the chasing and you end up keeping the upper hand. Worked for me!