How do cope with this?

[wildwomanwest]

Seeing ex husband for our DC's graduation soon. We couldn't hate each other more. I don't want to ruin it for our child but the thought of seeing him makes me feel sick. Never have I felt so much anger and disgust for a human being.
It'll just be us there, in two seats next to each other.
Any thoughts?

Did you not post about this before op?

Nope?

Love your child more than you hate your ex. Its not about you.

Why do you need to sit next to each other? Just rearrange the seating and ignore him.

Think of him as a vague acquaintance that you're on nodding terms with. You don't have to chat.

I know it will be really hard but try and remember this day isn't about you or your ex, it's about your DC

Seats are numbered and we have to be next to each other.

Does your child actually want you both there knowing how much you hate each other, or are they inviting you both because they're afraid of the fall-out if they don't?

I would have an absolutely open conversation with them - let them tell you how they feel even if it hurts your feelings. And if it would be easier for them if one of you didn't go and they could celebrate with the absent one another time, then be the one to step down.

Child desperately wants us to be friends and 100% wants us there.

And of course I will be well behaved and KNOW it's all about my child.

It's just being in close proximity to someone who has causes endless pain and abuse.

You can sit next to him and completely ignore his existence. He can be as much of a stranger as the person sat on the other side of you.

Then it's a couple of skin-crawling hours out of your life.

Go to your seat at the last possible minute, leave as soon as the ceremony is over. Concentrate on taking pictures and reading the graduation leaflet etc.

You know you love your child more than anything else in the world?

Nows your time to prove it.

Be civil, bite your tongue, don't let him get a rise out of you. Act like your playing a part in a play, almost detach yourself. Perhaps do your make up differently or something like that to seperate the real you. Cound down the seconds till you can hate him again. He's probably thinking the exact same.

It's like giving birth, it's excruciating and at some points you don't think you can take anymore, but you also know it's going g to be done soon, and you can go back to life, happier

Good luck

You'll just have to suck it up buttercup.

It's not about you.