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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Leaving a narcissist

41 replies

newstart2022 · 14/08/2021 00:21

Hi
I am in a relationship with a narcissist, text book.
We don’t live together but I keep getting drawn back, it’s like my head is so muddled up by it.
There is a justified cheating and I am insecure because of this.
I keep planning to end things then get knocked back confidence wise
Despite the fact it’s wrong etc I hate the thought of him moving on.
I think I know who she is and he knows the woman bothers me, he is going to a party at hers this weekend and it makes me feel physically ill.
I just want the pain to be over, years of defending myself against this man have left me totally depleted.

OP posts:
SparklingLime · 16/08/2021 20:52
  • recover
newstart2022 · 16/08/2021 21:30

@SparklingLime
Feels different this time, like he has someone lined up.
That hurts too x

OP posts:
WhatdoIsaytothem · 16/08/2021 21:32

He knew by going to the party that would upset you.. And he still went. And didn’t contact you.
He is being deliberately cruel.
I didn’t see what my narcissist was until it all blew up. Looking back I spent months feeling insecure and upset, couldn’t understand why he treated me like he did. Truth is, he didn’t care. And I allowed it to continue because I thought I loved him.
Real love shouldn’t feel uncertain, anxious and tearful. We need to reset our relationship judgement and not settle for such shit treatment!
Good luck XX Block him and don’t contact :)

SparklingLime · 16/08/2021 21:34

[quote newstart2022]@SparklingLime
Feels different this time, like he has someone lined up.
That hurts too x[/quote]
It’s meant to hurt. But he may well still try to draw you back into his abuse in the future. It’s the hot-cold routine to destabilise you. Have you read much about how these men operate?

newstart2022 · 16/08/2021 21:36

@SparklingLime
I have. The push pull has been going on for 2 years.
It’s so exhausting even thinking about how they operate, so broken x

OP posts:
newstart2022 · 16/08/2021 21:38

@WhatdoIsaytothem
It was deliberate.
Sounds silly but I struggle with the thought of a new routine because this one is so much of a habit ( a bad one)
Saturday nights in particular phase me for some reason.
I guess it’s because I am not thinking straight at all x

OP posts:
WhatdoIsaytothem · 16/08/2021 21:46

[quote newstart2022]@WhatdoIsaytothem
It was deliberate.
Sounds silly but I struggle with the thought of a new routine because this one is so much of a habit ( a bad one)
Saturday nights in particular phase me for some reason.
I guess it’s because I am not thinking straight at all x[/quote]
That’s because you have been gaslighted and manipulated for so long, your sense of what is right and wrong is twisted.
I’ve read my messages back tonight that I used to send my ex. Begging for contact, and he was just lying all the time. It makes for interesting reading now I know of the lying and cheating. I didn’t even know he was a narcissist! I believed him.

We deserve better than this. You can message on here and I will always reply!

newstart2022 · 16/08/2021 21:49

@WhatdoIsaytothem
Thanks so much.
I had counselling before and that’s exactly what they said that my sense of normal
and what is right has gone x

OP posts:
Chisontoast · 16/08/2021 21:50

Honestly, as a pp said, he will not be kind to her once he feels she’s more established in his life - narcissists can’t keep the mask on for long. Please remember that. Flowers

Chisontoast · 16/08/2021 21:55

And I’m not sure if this has been recommended already but when I went through similar I found the Chumplady website so, so helpful. Give it a read.

newstart2022 · 16/08/2021 22:02

@Chisontoast
Thanks.
When I look back I see the mask slipping loads before but never realised what was going on, that’s when I only seen him a few times a week.
Once we seen eachother every day that’s when it’s became clear.
But it was always me pushing his buttons, he bruised my arm once and point blank denied it. X

OP posts:
thecatsarecrazy · 17/08/2021 00:23

Narcissists are horrible creatures. I met mine last year.
The love bombing was amazing as it always is. Then little by little he showed his true colours. Started with being nasty to other people, saying he got a parking ticket for eg and bragging about how he called them a cunt, or getting kicked out of Tesco during lockdown. Then the digs started on me.. are you mad? Snappy! The other day I said my back was hurting. He just said bit weird that. I said not really. Then he just replied ok. So I said very sympathetic and he said I had snapped.
I recently confronted him about talking to another woman. He was being a pig. Telling her she had amazing tits. I set it up basically, me and her spoke before hand and she sent me the screenshots. I told him and he couldn't give a monkeys. said well I don't know what you get up to.
I'm unlikely to even see him again so my best bet is to block him out of my life.
They steal our sole!

wobblywinelover · 17/08/2021 01:11

He's telling you a gazillion lies and making you feel like shit, he's triangulating you with this other woman. You already know he's a narcissist, I know it's hard but you already know the truth. It's a battle but you've got to disengage from him or it will drive you mad. He doesn't deserve the headspace he's getting a kick from it. Fight back in your own way by building a new life without him. They hate it. It gives you your power back. You can do it! Read up about these people and how they work. Millions of posts about it on here sadly, I don't know why so many of them are like this. You deserve better than to feel like this all of the time. It's no life and you know it OP. Hugs

newstart2022 · 17/08/2021 17:04

@wobblywinelover
Thanks.
It’s like I just can’t quite except everything so I block it out.
I still sometimes question if he really is a narcissist, I know he is , but it’s such a horrible horrible way to live.
Talking on here definitely helps.
Thanks xx

OP posts:
TheFoundations · 17/08/2021 17:52

[quote newstart2022]@HelenHywater

I was better a few weeks ago and felt strong
Her being added to the mix again has made me feel weird , like I am not good enough and she is better and I worry that he will be nice to her and it’s all such a mess, in my head anyway.
I am exhausted x[/quote]
He's got his claws into your insecure, soft underside. Look to yourself to get those claws out. Stop focusing on him and his behaviour. He will have spotted that you were feeling better and chosen, consciously or otherwise, to mess you up again by bringing her onto the scene. Simply by acknowledging this, you can see that he's using her as a tool to manipulate your feelings. And by acknowledging that, you can see that he's hardly Mr Perfect for her, is he? However sweet and lovely he might be to her, he's the undercover git that you know to her, too - she just doesn't know yet.

That gives you the upper hand. You can stop worrying about her.

Worry about yourself. Worry about your insecure, soft underside. It wants something from him that it's not getting. Work out what it wants, and find a way to give that to yourself.

Narcissists need us to feel vulnerable and insecure. If we're not, we simply tell them to go and screw themselves. It's the part of us that worries if he's right, if maybe there is something wrong with us, if somehow we are faulty, that's the bit that makes us feel sick when he pokes it, and then we need him to be the one to say that actually, he doesn't think that anymore, and we really are worthy of his love.

He will treat everybody the same. He will have been lovely to you and reeled you in at the beginning, and now he's horrible to you and reeling her in, and it won't be long, after you've chucked him, that he'll be being horrible to her. She'll feel like you do now, and he'll be reeling a new woman onto the scene. Don't take it personally. Just stop giving him the opportunity to hurt you. You weren't put here to gain his approval. Your best path is to let him think whatever he wants of you, stop questioning him, inside your head or outside, and just accept that you will not agree, because he thinks you deserve to be abused, and you do not.

Once you've got that sorted in your head, you only have to make physical steps to put distance between the two of you.

This is what he's doing. It's not even a trick he made up on his own. It's pathetic. It's called triangulation. Try to imagine what a low life you'd feel if you stooped to doing this. And then recognise that that's exactly how much of a low life he is:

www.healthline.com/health/narcissistic-triangulation#examples

newstart2022 · 17/08/2021 19:39

@TheFoundations
I really appreciate this and everyone else’s comments.
Sometimes i need to see it in black and white and realise it’s all real and he is that bad.
He is a low life. X

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