How do you know if its the end?

[Rosebel]

I've been married for 8 years, been together 16 years and have 3 children. Obviously been through a lot in those years but lately I have been wondering if we should still be together.
We don't have massive rows more like bickering but quite a lot. Example tonight I wanted an early night as I'm working tomorrow. At the same time I also wanted to finish an application form. DH knew this but kept tickling and distracting me.
Finally finished said I was going to bed and then he said oh as you're up can you get me a drink anf hang my uniform up to dry. I pointed out I wanted to go to bed but he got stroppy so I just did it.
Got upstairs and the cat was there, shouted down to DH to let the cat out before he goes to bed. He said you do it. I've done it every night this week. So I put the cat out, then snapped at DH and he snapped back and it escalated. Now I'm angry and can't sleep.
It sounds ridiculous but I'm starting to wonder if we should be together even though it was a stupid row.
It feels like several small rows are, as, bad as one or two big ones but I don't know.
I still love him but is that enough? How did you know your relationship was over?

I pointed out I wanted to go to bed but he got stroppy so I just did it. - how to train a man to get stroppy.

Sounds like you're his servant to be honest OP. I think that's how you know it's over...

There was nothing stopping him getting his own drink and hanging his own uniform up to dry seen as he was staying up. And letting the cat out too!

Sounds like a prick, OP.

Hope you manage to get some sleep

I’m the same as you right now.
A whole load of reasons but lately we’re bickering all the time.
He hates our dog and is constantly shouting at him.
My kids get upset (both of our girls autistic) and shout back at dad but he says there answering back and tells them off.
I’ve had quiet and very loud words with him saying he can’t keep doing it , it’s scaring our dog and worry’s the girls.

He is very controlling over me and we have a 8 month old baby , I help our girls and when they have meltdowns I need to calm them but he shouts and says there not autistic just naughty. It really pisses me off.

He does no night feeds so I am up through the night and early Morning but he goes to bed every afternoon for “a kip” even after work did a couple of hours.

I do love him but I’m starting to slowly fall out of love . I think a split is on the cards but I don’t know how to tell him and I know he will take the car as it’s in his name but I can’t do without one. Our girls can’t get a bus as it’s to much for them to take and with three kids I need to get around.

Sorry for the long post but I’m at the end of the line x

To be honest it sounds like you're taking life too seriously.

When he asked you to get his drink and hang his uniform id have laughed at him and said "i told you I'm going to bed. Get it yourself you lazy arse" in a jovial way then we'd have had a bit of back and forth jokey conversation and id have gone to bed.

Things don't have to be an argument if you're more chilled out. You can say no without bickering.

When you just know that nothing will change and you can't bear to think of living the rest of your life like that. When he couldn't handle our ASD DS, when he didn't pull his weight around the house, when I lost respect for him. All the feelings of resentment build up and one day after something major or even really trivial, you just know you're done.

@Walkingalot I could have wrote that !
That’s me to a tee

I did say I was going to bed and that's when he got pissy. Sometimes I'd just ignore it but family bbq later and he'd have no problem in making it obvious he's angry with me which just makes everyone uncomfortable.
I know it sounds like a minor thing but I think tiredness has a lot to do with it. I'm up at 2 for work and if I'm not working I'm still up by 5 as our son has started waking up then.

It doesn't sound like a trivial thing at all @Rosebel. Sounds like you are walking on egg shells and that's never good.

What a bastard!! If my bf had to get up for work at 2, I'd be making sure he gets an early night and help as much as I can. Not stop him from sleeping and demand that he do stuff for me.

Sometimes I'd just ignore it but family bbq later and he'd have no problem in making it obvious he's angry with me which just makes everyone uncomfortable.

Ah. So he's controlling you with the unspoken threat of public embarrassment. That's a lot more than bickering. He's an immature, lazy, selfish, sulky shit. I'd be out the door.

@Poodlemum1 it sounds like you need to go as well - you cannot continue subjecting your DDs to living with someone who believes that their neurological condition doesn't exist. Tell him to fuck off, and I hope your dog bites his bum on the way out!

Not trivial at all! He sounds awful. And worse now you've said that he'd think nothing of making his anger obvious and embarassing you at a family BBQ.

He sounds selfish and lazy, and he doesn't care for your wellbeing.

He's a lazy prick.