how to broach changing mind about more children?

[ltguzza]

We currently have one 18 month year old. We had shared parental leave and are both part time workingnow. I found it all exceptionally hard, I have not taken naturally to it and although I really love our child I mourn my old life and do not want another.

The issue is we previously discussed children at length before first DC and both agreed on two. how do I broach my change of heart?

Just be honest. Your mind has changed since you've experienced the reality of parenting and you now want to stick with one child. That's totally OK.

Has your partner broached the subject, ie has he said it might be time to think about another one? He might well be on the same page as you but not want to say.

Thank you both for your replies. The advice is good. My worry is if I mention this to my wife there is no real going back, even if in years to come I end up with two she will always remember me asking to stop at one

What is it specifically that you mourn about your old life? @ltguzza

You're at the most challenging age period ...some/all of the things you're missing could gradually come back as your child gets older

Agree with @SarahDarah, wait a bit (at least until your partner brings it up). It is a tough age and your feelings may change. I remember desperately, desperately NOT wanting another when mine was a similar age. I have two 3.5 years apart and am happy now.

Having said that, definitely don't get pressured into another child if you don't want one, but be prepared that it might be a deal breaker for your partner.

There are so many threads from the other perspective of this and so many times the woman is advised to leave and have a baby with someone else (not saying this is the best advice). But generally the person who doesn’t want more children has the final say.

What is it you haven’t taken to do you think? You’re still quite early on in the parenting role, has your wife mentioned wanting another?