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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Someone talk some sense into me please

4 replies

justasecondhandemotion · 13/08/2021 15:31

So I started up a relationship with my best friend. I've had a v v hard time of thongs recently and he's really been there for me; it's spilled into something more.

We had an amazing month, great time together, loving messages.

I had a difficult bereavement and the fall out from everything else that's happened this year.8 felt really vulnerable and insecure. So I asked to go back to being friends for a bit. He also worried we'd started something up too soon.

I quickly realised that it wasn't possible to be friends any more either and it was hurting me. We had a long conversation where it turns out his feelings have changed, he doesn't know if he ever wants to be with me, he feels foolish for getting involved at the wrong time.

So I marked my boundaries and have cut all contact.

But I'm struggling. I miss him so much. I desperately want to be with him. But apparently rly he told a mutual friend he's thinking about dating again. I'm absolutely heartbroken. How do I get through this? I won't contact him but I so want to. I wish he missed me as much as I miss him. I just don't understand how his feelings can change so suddenly. It just not have ever been real.

OP posts:
justasecondhandemotion · 13/08/2021 15:32

Thongs? What a bad typo 🤦🏽‍♀️

OP posts:
AnotherOldGeezer · 13/08/2021 17:04

So you said - Let’s be just friends

He said OK

And now you’re upset. You can’t understand it. Or am I missing something?

I would contact him - the worst that can happen is that he says he’s gone off you. And then you’ll know

Flyinggeese1 · 13/08/2021 17:13

Oh OP that sounds hard. I’d say don’t contact him though, he’s ready made it clear he’s not interested in a relationship, you’d just be lining yourself up for another hurtful reply.

Orgasmagorical · 13/08/2021 17:15

I just don't understand how his feelings can change so suddenly

Maybe he was enjoying the shags and the attention but you said you needed a break and his ego couldn't take that? Who knows. I do know he's not worth the angst though Flowers

How do I get through this?

However you like - listen to sad songs and cry till there are no tears left. Have a bath. Eat chocolate. But don't beat yourself up, work through it, you'll get there Flowers

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