Would this comment bother you?

[Naaaaah]

So much is wrong in our relationship. It's fucked basically. I keep forgiving more and more stuff but would this overheard comment by your partner bother you. I feel like I've lost all judgment and perspective. He was on the phone to a colleague and he was obviously describing some situation and used an analogy. He said, it's like this, imagine the most beautiful stunning woman comes up to you in a bar and you turn her down........I didn't hear the rest but it's just made me feel like shit. I never get told I'm beautiful or complimented. Plus it's also cringeworthy and embarrassingly unprofessional. It's not the first time I've heard him use stunning women as some kind of way of describing a situation. Is it me though? Am I just over sensative to everything?

The first two sentences of your post are the reasons you need to end the relationship. A throwaway comment made to somebody else about an imaginary stunning woman in a theoretical bar is just background noise.

To be honest I think you are massively over reacting? Are you saying you've never in conversation with a friend referred to a man as "handsome"

@twinningatlife

To be honest I think you are massively over reacting? Are you saying you've never in conversation with a friend referred to a man as "handsome"

Not very often really tbh and certainly not in a professional capacity. Perhaps he's always said shit like this but I've never heard it before because he wasn't WFH before.

It's only "professional" because he's said it to a colleague - if you took out the fact it was during 9-530pm it would just be him talking to a mate

I can honestly say I've Heard both male and female colleagues refer to members of the opposite sex as good looking / handsome

I think you are finding outrage in this because of issues in your wider relationship

Agree with over reacting.

Just end the relationship op, you aren't happy that's enough to finish things.

What else is wrong in your relationship to make say it’s fucked? The comment sounds like a red herring.

Are you thinking he is the office perv?

YANBU I would HATE to hear my DH on the phone to ANYONE and hear him say this - it’s gross!

YANBU. Trust your intuition. He sounds like a jerk.

I'd just want to know how the analogy ended. Is it about turning someone down because even though they are superficially attractive, you are very happy as you are and not interested in looking elsewhere?

Your mind has come up with some other scenario because you don't like him.

He’s using an analogy to describe a missed opportunity you kick yourself over later, surely? So you find yourself suddenly meeting eyes with Brad Pitt in Sainsbury’s, he comes over and introduces himself and asks if you’d like to go out to dinner, but you have to decline because you need to pick the kids up from school. That sort of thing. There is no actual stunning woman in a real bar that he’s turned down (and if there was and he did, because he’s not single, then surely that’s a good thing, not a bad one?)

Agree with others that you’re extrapolating the other bad aspects of the relationship into this.

Oh god, leave him, you deserve more

Not remotely the point of your thread OP but I’m nosy as to what he does as a job?

I don't understand the comment / analogy. Was it even about you?

I don't get it or why you are offended?

If it's an analogy, he's actually talking about something else. What was he actually talking about? And how did the analogy end?

@DowntonCrabby

Oh god, leave him, you deserve more

Not remotely the point of your thread OP but I’m nosy as to what he does as a job?

Very senior in a high profile job connected with the pandemic.

I would just think he was talking to another twat and pigeonhole him

Who cares about the comment, your relationship is shit. Why on earth are you still there?

@yourestandingonmyneck

I don't understand the comment / analogy. Was it even about you?

I don't get it or why you are offended?

If it's an analogy, he's actually talking about something else. What was he actually talking about? And how did the analogy end?

No, not about me. Can't tell u any more cos that's all I heard. He was obviously using an analogy to help the other guy on the phone to understand a situation. It just feels so unnecessary to refer to beautiful women. Use another analogy. Not sure how it's appropriate in work. It just makes me feel like him and his mates and male work colleagues like referring to beautiful women. I was beautiful and my looks have faded now I'm 50 and it's feeding into my insecurities too. I've heard him use other analogies involving sex and attractive women. It just sounds so pervy.

It’s how blokes talk I’m afraid. I think the fact you’re not happy in the relationship is why you’re finding things he’s saying so annoying or upsetting
It wouldn’t bother me if my dh said this.

This is your second thread of the day OP, you're unhappy you don't need a reason to end this relationship. You both have your own houses and lives, just prioritise yourself and your happiness.