Those of you with DPs with addiction issues....

[fancyaflatwhite]

How do you find it in you to remain supportive over the years?

How do you manage to resolve your resentments and disappointment and keep going?

How does your DP's addiction (whether drugs, alcohol, gambling - though all come with their own side issues) impact your relationship?

I feel a crazy mixture of disappointed, exhausted, resentful, anxious and guilty for not being able to support at the moment, while DP is relapsing with his substance issues - but on top of work, kids, house it's just feeling like one thing too many.

I'm angry, sad, confused and very unsure of how to be with him, for fear of either being unsupportive or enabling a dangerous habit.

Is anyone managing to keep communication going well, and if so - please let me know how.

Just bumping for a bit of a check-in today.

Last night DP had a few beers and some weed to relax after a hard week at work. He got a bit too stoned. Ended up a bit incoherent and fell over in our bedroom in front of our DS. I spent the night worrying if he'd be ok - this behaviour makes me anxious and feel alone as a parent.

He apologised this morning, but is now saying everyone he knows has a few drinks and weed to chill out at the weekend.

Just feel like the weekend has been tarnished again, and am so sick of feeling like this.

This makes me so sad to read, it must be incredibly tough. I'm wondering where did you learn that this was good enough...? Because this is what you are passing on to your DS. Theres a link I think between, enabling and self worth. You deserve to feel considered, loved and not have a repeated tarnished life.

@LeisureSuitLarry

I don't know how I could ever leave. I have mountains of evidence in WhatsApp messages, but what if a judge rules that I am sole carer, but only until my wife gets clean. Then once clean, she takes over as main parent. She is already main carer I suppose on paper, since she works 30 hours to my 37.5. Could this realistically happen? My two boys love us both dearly, but I know that forced to make a choice, they would pick their mum over me. I'd much prefer to be there to bring normality to their lives, rather than ending up with every other weekend custody or something equally shit while they're left spending most of their time with an alcoholic cocaine addict who spends a huge amount of her time either high, pissed, hungover or asleep.

I totally understand why you would feel like this. Me too.