I think I want to leave

[Itsahardknocklife18]

Hi Ladies
I need some advice

My husband and I have been married 3 years been together 7 this month. I love him but I’m not sure I’m in love with him anymore.
I dream about other men, we rarely have sex and he’s become so pious and condescending since we had our DD (now 15months).
When we argue I can’t help but feel the urge to strangle him. The main issue is exhaustion, from both of us, his job is very physical and he’s running himself into the ground for his boss but not for his family, I am left to do everything around the house when he gets tired. Sometimes he’s verging on narcoleptic and falls asleep in his chair, which makes me want to throw something at him.

I had cancer about 4 years ago and the main thing that stops me from leaving is what would happen if it came back, I wouldn’t be able to look after our DD on my own, and if I were to pass away she would be uprooted from her home.

I can feel myself getting more stressed, more tired and unfortunately leading to me being ill. DD doesn’t sleep well and it’s a constant battle, she sleeps late, wakes early and rarely sleeps through, I’m just tired of this.

I want to pack up and run away.

Will I move past this?? I don’t know… I just need a break.

No one can predict what will happen in the future so it's the "now" you have to look at.
If you are so unhappy that the situation is making you ill, you need to move away from it.

Personally, I don't think it is a good idea to make big decisions when you are exhausted.

Your exhaustion won't go away if you split up.
Do you work?

@spotcheck no I don’t, I guess you could call me a ‘Suzie’ I walk the dog, cook, clean and look after our daughter xx

From personal experience I would say wait. Our little one (22m) went through bad sleep patches, we both work, although I'm now on maternity due mid sept. My husband worked long horrible shift so i felt i needed to do everything. He didn't say that but I felt I had to make his life easier so martyred myself. There were lots of points where we felt like strangers and stopped sex for months. But it did get better, I honestly think the lockdowns 1000 times worse. We still have days that suck but they are becoming less and we are getting back to being happy. He is a good man and we love each but other sometimes we just need a reality chat and a breath.

@pinklizard2021 mmmm… that’s what my mum has said xx

@bluemoon13 Thank you. That’s reassuring xx

What do you mean by pious and condescending?
The tiredness etc is understandable and it will pass, but if he's being unpleasant to you ( and irritating you. Which he is by the sound of it), I'd have to call it a day.
Some things you can work through. Some you can't.