Please can I have advice

[Helloxxxxxx]

I am only 18 years old , I live with my boyfriend and can't go back to my mum as I wouldn't have a room for me and my baby , I feel so trapped ,he stresses me out so much , I have been with him for nearly 4 years and I thought u trusted him but looked on the phone he uses which I paid for and he is always watching porn or searching up girls on Facebook and Instagram even ones we know . He says I am good enough but I know I am not for him . I have put on a couple stone since we got together but he said he did that to me on purpose so boys don't look . I have told him how it makes me feel because it literally destroys me every time I see this stuff and he keeps promising not to do it again and he does . I don't care for him anymore but if I leave he will stop working and won't provide for our baby and I am not working and have no savings . I would have no where to go anyways and I hate this because I can't be with someone who keeps lying and is addicted to doing something that hurts me so much . Surely if he cared for me then he would be able to stop ? I am not enough . I am trapped and don't know how to get out of this mess . I really am not overreacting in the way it makes me feel and that's why I need to be out . I deserve happiness even if it's just me and my baby . All I want is to be happy I haven't been in so so long

Can you call your mum and tell her how unhappy you are? I have a son and would always have him back at home whether I had a spare room or not.

If this is not an option, or even if you can live with your mum for a little bit you could ask your Health Visitor for advice about how you might be able to live on your own with your baby. I'm sure there are other services that could advise you as well and help get you set up on benefits in a council property. You would be entitled to a lot of help until your baby turns 2 years old and then you would be offered more help with childcare (nursery) if you were required to look for work after baby's second birthday.

You shouldn't have to be in a relationship that makes you feel worthless. As for him threatening to quit work so he doesn't have to pay for his child, there's not much you could do about that as I'm not sure he would have to pay child support while unemployed but it shows what a manipulative nasty man he is. Please just make a few phone calls and see what help is offered to you x

This is heartbreaking. I know it all seems overwhelming but imagine looking back in 18 years time and having wasted your youth with this guy.

Speak to your health visitor, citizens advice, shelter, and if you can your mum.

Also have a look at entitledto.com to see what benefits you may get.

I also have a slight problem because I was given furniture from my family , a sofa , fridge and washer but if I went anywhere I don't think he would let me take them . If I move straight out from here and stay here until then I think I would have more chance but if I went to stay with someone I wouldn't be able to bring them with me

Whose names is the house/flat in?

Your boyfriend sounds really really horrible. That's not how a relationship should work. I'd leave him. Call your mum - I have a 17yo dd and I'd have her back at home in a heartbeat if she was in your situation.

Or ask your health visitor or CAB for help.

When you leave your partner, make sure a trusted big burly bloke is there to help you take all your things, and furniture.

Then do the Freedom Programme so you can spot an abusive relationship in future and avoid them/escape from them.

You and your baby deserve more.

Hi sorry for not replying individually I'm not sure how to yet 😂but thanks everyone for helping me out , I don't think I made it clear that I'm pregnant now 23 weeks not had him yet but I know he will be the only boy I need , I will update this post with my situation when Iv managed to sort something out , thanks a lot everyone xx

@Helloxxxxxx

I also have a slight problem because I was given furniture from my family , a sofa , fridge and washer but if I went anywhere I don't think he would let me take them . If I move straight out from here and stay here until then I think I would have more chance but if I went to stay with someone I wouldn't be able to bring them with me

That's completely irrelevant - this is the rest of your life you're thinking about. A few white goods shouldn't be getting in the way

Oh if the baby's not here yet definitely get out now! Go back to your moms and I'm sure she'll help you.

Yep just leave. Boyfriends are supposed to be nice to you. If they’re not, you leave.

I'd run before baby is born and it gets messy. You don't need someone treating you like your second best especially when you're pregnant!

Best to try get out before baby comes, there will be so much pressure.
The way he's treating you isn't because you're not enough. He has his own issues.

Please don't stay in an unhappy relationship. At 18 you have so much life to live and many happy memories to make with your baby. Agree with other posters, do what you can to find out about financial support and tell your mum about your situation. While you're there is there any way you could put any money away, no matter how small? Or at least get everything you need for baby?

Aww, really feel for you. Definitely leave ASAP, as things will probably only get worse (sorry don't mean to sound negative but I think that tends to be the case more often than not).
Perhaps the midwife or health visitor can advise or help you on getting somewhere to live (a mother and baby unit perhaps) if back with your mum is definitely not an option. They'll be some sort of benefits to help you.
If space is an issue at your mums but you can live there, perhaps go there for now whilst you're still Oren any and put yourself on a council list or start looking for another place to live, hopefully you can find somewhere before baby arrives. Regarding the things you have at his house, have you got anyone that can go in your behalf to collect them?