Hi everyone,
I've been on here many times over the last few years seeking advice and help.
And now I'm finally escaping from a very difficult marriage.
We are separating for Now and in the process of selling up and moving out of the house. Even though we've been living in the same house, it's been as a separated couple if you know what I mean.
We are trying to be amicable about the practicalities and money matters.
On the whole he is fine about money and can be generous. But he still has the controlling tendencies. So, to explain further.....he is happy to let me have the car and more money from the house sale. He has actually bought a small flat for himself now.
One of our adult children is not independent and needs additional support and will live with me.
So that is partly why we've agreed that I will get more of the house sale.
Some of my friends and family are telling me to get financial advice and I'm beginning to think I should.
And to make matters more formal and with a legal separation or divorce.
On the one hand he is generous and saying he is doing this for me and the family etc. And then I feel a bit awkward and unsure.
Like he's doing me a favour and all that.
I said to him, that as it stands right now, after many years of marriage, everything is an equal split.
He disagrees, and for example, insists that his pension is his alone as it's in his name. Then we row about this, with him as usual being stubborn and staying stuff to me like "how can you be like this when I'm being so generous?"
I'm just making the point that this is the way it is. As usual, I'm doubting myself and am on here to ask you and check.
Is it true that everything we have is 50 50?
Can anyone explain more.
Thank you