How to break pattern?

[Newcoffee]

Hello, just need some fresh eyes. Dh works very hard and is anxious and very bad at taking time off, planning fun. It means he gets on this spiral where he gets tireder and tireder and if I don’t go on our morning walk ( cos I’m tired of listening to hi moaning) he says all sad,’ oh I’ll go on my own then’ sort of thing.
My pattern is to then get anxious and guilty and overwhelm at all the stuff there is to do for house/ family and freeze with anxiety. I’ve been trying to learn that this is his problem and to look after me. ( getting counselling once a month).
What else can I do? He’s been told he has to give 2 work reviews. One on Tuesday which he found out about on Saturday, he was supposed to be on holiday ( and no we didn’t go anywhere) so worked all weekend and one at the end of the month so that’s more weekends working. If I say anything a bout time off to recover, he’ll snap at me.
I am trying to put together some sort of business as he is saying a £10 an hour job isn’t worth my while. ( been a sahm for ever due to circs)
This has been the pattern ( I’m realising) for ever. We have mates coming ( yay!) and of course he is too busy to help tidy, which is fine. But, oh I don’t know. How can I help him relax and have a bit of fun at least?

You can encourage him - by leading by example from your own counselling - to seek help for his own anxiety so that he can either find another job or stand up to his very unreasonable employers.

There’s a lot going on OP
On both sides
I say focus on yourself
And your anxiety
And then focus on your dh

Thanks both of you. I’ll be more open about seeing a counsellor. It’s only once a month, maybe we should chat about what I chat about with her? ( mainly how to get a bit of control) . We have both nearly died in the last 6 years. I recovered and then he was ill and then covid and the company he was in closed, covid. so there is a lot going on.