Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I don’t know if this is what I want

2 replies

bbb2019 · 09/08/2021 21:22

In short- I think I might need to vent but I need some advice.

Currently 32 weeks pregnant. It has been hideous. Loads of bleeding in and out of hospital.

Happily married for 5 years, together for 11- one other DC together. No issues or concerns. No significant problems.

Found out 2 months ago my partner got a CCJ charging order attached to the house. He states he never got any post (I definitely haven’t) and that he was under impression debt had been paid in full. Upon reviewing everything it seems as though he’s partially being honest and partially lying. Says he called them- he did. It’s on his phone bill. I’m waiting for a log of the call. Told me he had paid it but their statements show he hadn’t (had missed one payment early on and interest was added so we still had a lot outstanding). As part of this process ive seen his old bank statements and he was terrible with money. I don’t think he’s lying about believing this debt was paid but it’s his negligence that hurts. I don’t think he’s hidden post from me- ive been home daily so it would basically be impossible.

I’m now stuck in a house we should have moved from years ago for the next five years whilst we wait for this CCJ to disappear. I am so resentful. I went away last week and I didn’t want to come back. I am so happy but jealous of everyone else. Our plan was to move next year. That’s impossible now.

Then I feel guilty because I don’t think he’s lying about thinking it was paid and not knowing about the CCJ and that marriage is full of tests and we need to stick together. I look at him and love him so much but I’m so sad.

I’m resentful he’s left me to deal with this (he literally doesn’t have a clue) I’m livid for the lat 5 years he’s been so rubbish with money ive taken it all on. I’m so annoyed I’m tied to his financial mess and I’m so anxious about the future.

We have enough to pay the CCJ in full. We are stable.

Sorry this is long and rant filled but I’m just trying to work out what I’m thinking and feeling. I don’t think being pregnant helps 😞

OP posts:
EllieStartingOver · 09/08/2021 21:26

Pay it in full, the longer it is on there the less clout it has but it’s better to show settled.

My husband had a CCJ when we applied for a mortgage, but it didn’t matter to many lenders after it was 3 years old.

Your husband not being honest is another matter.

bbb2019 · 10/08/2021 14:35

I guess. I can’t work out if it’s honesty though or just sheer idiotic behaviour

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread