Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Big mistake selling flat

19 replies

Beckandcall85 · 09/08/2021 17:46

I’ve been with my partner for around 5 years. He’s been living at my flat while renovating another property in another city. It’s a small one bed without a garden next to a busy road and I’ve always known I don’t want to stay there and harboured dreams of us getting our own place. We discussed many possibilities - him selling his flat and combining deposits, then both of us renting a bigger place. For some reason six months I go I decided that now was the time for me to sell. Management company is a nightmare, there’s going to be big development across the road. But to be honest our plans were never fixed in stone. As move out date has got closer, it’s become apparent we don’t have a plan. Basically he wanted me to move in to his place halfway across the country and commute every other week for work. I realised that wouldn’t work. I’d be lonely and it would be stressful. Add to that problems he has with drinking and a porn addiction - problems I’d put at back of my head. Now need to move out of my flat. Pretty sure relationship is over. I’m terrified because I don’t know what comes next and I’m really, really kicking myself for letting go of my one bit of security. I love my own space and my own comforts. It was terrible idea and totally freaking out!!!!! Any advice? Thanks so much.

OP posts:
jajabanks · 09/08/2021 17:48

Can you not pull out of the sale?

fedup078 · 09/08/2021 17:48

Ok put this relationship to one side And concentrate on what you can do for yourself
Did you get any equity in the sale?
It sounds like now was the right time to sell this particular flat so not all bad if you can afford to buy or rent somewhere else more appropriate on your own ?

Bluntness100 · 09/08/2021 17:50

So I’m guessing you’ve exchanged? You need to them find someplace to buy otherwise you’ll be spunking money on rent.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 09/08/2021 17:51

Dump him.
Don’t move .

ChateauMargaux · 09/08/2021 17:51

Buy another place on your own.

alloverthecarpetagain · 09/08/2021 17:55

Pull out of the sale if you can (and if you want to stay in that flat) or find a place to rent by yourself and put the money in the bank if there is some out of the flat. Do not move in and go along with his stupid plan.

Beckandcall85 · 09/08/2021 17:55

Hi guys, we’ve exchanged so it’s too late to pull out. If anything I lost money on the sale but still got an ok deposit though living in v expensive city. I really feel like I’ve shot myself in the foot...fine, it wasn’t my forever home, everyone wants a garden etc...but now really regretting letting it go.

OP posts:
GarethBalesManBun · 09/08/2021 17:57

Buy somewhere else!

Disfordarkchocolate · 09/08/2021 18:00

Just buy something else. You have a good deposit and if your in rented for a few months you are the end/start of a chain which is a good thing.

Take a day or two to wallow then get organised making plans for a brilliant future.

fedup078 · 09/08/2021 18:06

But sack him off no matter what you do. Porn and alcohol addictions? Get out now

Neverrains · 09/08/2021 18:08

Buy somewhere else, alone.

shesellsseacats · 09/08/2021 18:11

Don't move in with him!

If you don't have anywhere to put your stuff, rent a storage space and rent a room short term for you while you hunt for a new place. You might find somewhere much nicer.

Treacletoots · 09/08/2021 18:25

Everything happens for a reason OP and you'll see that very soon. You've just sold at just the right time and have a great deposit to start looking for the right place.

frozendaisy · 09/08/2021 18:25

Buy something a bit further out, with garden, even a small one. Find a forever right now home.

Perhaps it was just what you needed for the flat sale push.

It will be ok.

litterbird · 09/08/2021 18:30

Whatever you do dont move in with him. Find a rental as quickly as possible for now and get house hunting sharpishly.

Beckandcall85 · 09/08/2021 18:36

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate your kind words - it’s helped me get out of the blind panic and see the positives - all the best!

OP posts:
candycane222 · 09/08/2021 22:17

yes, just find somewhere else to buy - for yourself.

candycane222 · 09/08/2021 22:19

and as pps say, don't rush, rent for a bit, look around for somewhere with a bit of space, a balcony maybe, nearer to a green space. It's going to be great!!

candycane222 · 09/08/2021 22:20

with no chain you'll be in a good position to buy

New posts on this thread. Refresh page