Leaving my husband

[Oakmaiden]

So, I told my husband on Friday that I don't want to be married any more.

Lots of reasons - but basically boil down to the fact we have no physical relationship and no romantic relationship. Added to which we have no hobbies in common and our political views and societal values have diverged massively, which means we have very little to even talk about. He wants very different things out of life to me. So I really think this is the best move for both of us.

So why can't I stop crying?

Because you are human

It's the end of a chapter in your life you didn't plan for

It will hurt for a while

There will be financial residential and emotional upheaval

Of course you will be upset , keep your dignity and try to remain civil amicable and communicative at all times

You can get through this 💐

Hand hold- I'm in the same boat with dp of 10 years. No idea where I'm going to live, it's all horrible but I know it's the best thing for both of us in the long run. Guess we just take it a day at a time

I’ve been where you are, and I cried on and off until I moved out (had a new job, made sense it was me). It was partly relief at it all being finally out in the open, and sadness for what had been lost. The day I actually moved out my last things I sobbed as I loaded the car. Perhaps if I had hated him it would have been easier in many respects.

Ten years on I have no regrets. We’re friendly, I still care about him, but I’m now married to the most wonderful man.

Chin up, and onward.

I am wanting to leave My husband like my previous post said but I've got a few questions looming over me

I've emailed to book appts with the mortgage advisor and a family law solicitor just for advice

We have no physical or romantic relationship it's like being roommates with no common interests and I know that he's watching porn/wanking in private or in the bathroom

What I want to know is what do I do if he refuses to want to seperate?

I am going to offer to take over the mortgage payments and suggests he rents that way he's not having to pay towards a house myself and our DD will be living in (I do expect him to pay maintenance) but what if he refuses and wants to stay in the house? Will I have to give in and move into rented? He can take the sofa, bed and tv with him to a new place as he has paid for it the rest of the furniture we jointly bought or I've bought as I put a lot more financially into the house decor

Who gets custody? Obviously I want her with me as I'm her mum he's a good dad but does need reminding of the basics such as bathing her, brushing her teeth and he feeds her such a beige bland diet always giving in and letting her have sweet stuff if she won't eat her tea.

I am going to suggest that he sees her every evening by picking her up from nursery and take her back to wherever he finds to live for a few hours before bringing her back to the family home to me then he can have her every other weekend for an overnight visit (fri/sat night). This is so we both have a weekend alternate with her as it wouldn't be fair him getting her every weekend when we both work mon-fri

I want to be amicable about it but scared shitless on how to approach this all and saying to him

😫😫

Sorry I didn't mean to post this on a thread!!