Recording apps - abuse/divorce

[Waitthenwhat]

After years of mental abuse/controlling behaviour I am ready to move on. Any recording apps out there that can help me document the abuse as I embark on the divorce process? I need sth that I can activate quickly as my husband’s tantrums are unpredictable! He is super nice to others but that’s not the side we see at home and it will be my word against his unless I have some evidence! Thank you in advance.

Don't record your husband. It won't look good on you and it's not necessary to prove anything. Just get divorced ASAP and move on. I honestly think this would make things worse for you.

Just divorce on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour you don't have to provide evidence just cite a few examples.

Hi, I used an app called "voice memos"
I used to have it open on my phone all the time and just press the button when it kicked off. Like others say, you don't need any evidence for the divorce but it did make me feel better by recording it.

Good luck and I hope you stay strong x

Thank you all! I need to get my shit together. For those who went through the process, did you go through a lawyer or were you able to represent yourselves?

I know there's alot saying you don't need to record and they're right, but I think it's a good idea, ONLY if you can do it safely.

It's not just for evidence (legally it wouldn't really stand up anyway), but the process your going through will be argued and sometimes you can question the 'did he/did I/was it....etc. I think it helps in keeping you strong in your convictions knowing your right and doing the right thing.

The problem with recording though is you will know and your behaviour will (possibly subconsciously) change as your aware. You might be tempted to goad a reaction from him to gain 'evidence' etc...that's why it won't stand up legally, really easily argued and possibly detrimental to your case.

Way up both sides.

Wishing you all the best OP

@Waitthenwhat

Thank you all! I need to get my shit together. For those who went through the process, did you go through a lawyer or were you able to represent yourselves?

Lawyer!! Honestly don't think of doing this alone for one second.

Any recommendations for lawyers please? We are on the south east. I am married to a narcissistic/alcoholic and just want out of the relationship.

Are you okay right now @Waitthenwhat? You sound panicked in you post?

I'd phone your local Women's Aid, Wait, and ask them for recommendations of solicitors for your situation. That's what I did and ended up having a lot of support from them (that I didn't think I needed, I know now I did, they were invaluable).

I tried to record my then husband but my bloody phone beeped when I tried to press the button in my pocket, I had to try and pretend I'd touched it by mistake!

I am ok, thank you lovely people! Just don’t trust him any more and fed up of living in fear or his actions/put downs/tantrums! I will call Women’s aid. I just feel stupid for wasting almost 15 years of my life with this men, but have finally put the puzzle together. He is getting from bad to worse and issue is the way he treats the kids now, completely destroying their self-esteem just like he did to me over all these years… 😢 plus the alcohol!

You have my sympathy, Wait, it's horrible when you realise that the man you've given a big part of your life to is abusing you. The good thing is though you can see it for what it is and still value yourself and your children enough to make the changes you need to, I wish you well