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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Trauma bond

5 replies

Happy202 · 09/08/2021 00:11

Hi
I am struggling.
Before this relationship I was a happy reasonably naive adult.
I have had a four year relationship with a text book narcissist and I am really struggling.
I have posted before and he was a piece of work and to top it off he was sexting behind my back, videos the lot.
This was almost a year ago I found this and the relationship ended six months ago but it feels like it’s all hitting me now.
It makes me feel ill thinking that he did all those things. The videos , the emotional abuse
Even when i told him how bad i felt he kept going.
Also my mind seems to be flooded with the few nice memories of the relationship.
Any advice would be appreciated.
I have two children not with him and I feel bad that they don’t have the real version of me. I hate that he has made me mistrust and doubt everyone and everything.

OP posts:
JaneJeffer · 09/08/2021 00:43
May be helpful.
jemh95x · 09/08/2021 02:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NiteWotcha · 09/08/2021 02:31

@jemh95x
I see you've started your own thread about this so I'll hide this message and MNHQ can delete in the morning

jemh95x · 09/08/2021 02:37

[quote NiteWotcha]@jemh95x
I see you've started your own thread about this so I'll hide this message and MNHQ can delete in the morning[/quote]
Thank you! I am a newbie so still getting used to using. X

xsquared · 09/08/2021 07:21

What have you done so far for recovery?

There are plenty of videos on YouTube about why a arcisdidt dies this and that, to help you inderstswhsy you went through and validate your feelings and experience.

Are you NC with this person? That is a must for recovery.

Have you tried counselling to verbalise your experience?

If you are suffering from nightmares or flashbacks, then I hear EMDR is meant to be good for it.

I hope you find peace soon.

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