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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Normal contact or a red flag?

5 replies

PalorNo · 08/08/2021 19:55

Not sure if I’m reading into things here, I’m on high alert to red flags.

I’ve found that if I am busy or not initiating contact, I hear from my DP much more. Not sure if he can be called DP yet but we’ve been together exclusively for over a year. Anyway, we see each other regularly. But I’m between from the start it was me being far more chatty and in contact. I started to think oh well the relationship is good when together so I won’t push for more contact. It wasn’t a game. But I’ve now noticed that the less interactive I am on the phone or calls, the more he is.

Is this just normal psychology, ie I’ve given him chance to be in contact by taking the initiative instead of jumping in myself, or is it a red flag he’s only been more engaging since I’ve thrown the towel in so to speak about making sure I am in contact regularly?

OP posts:
BayandBlonde · 08/08/2021 20:00

You sound more of a red flag than he does! So you've effectively ghosted him, he is trying to reach out to keep the contact going (that you initially lead) and now your cutting him off

PalorNo · 08/08/2021 20:04

@BayandBlonde noooo! I just stopped worrying about being in touch so much!

OP posts:
SilverRoe · 08/08/2021 20:06

I th i’m it sounds like you have stepped back a bit from initiating and now this has given him a chance to reach out first!

LemonTT · 08/08/2021 20:08

I would be worried if a BF or GF was analysing me to this degree and studying me like a lab subject.

spongedod · 08/08/2021 20:15

@LemonTT

I would be worried if a BF or GF was analysing me to this degree and studying me like a lab subject.

Yes. I am amazed sometimes at the analysis of peoples relationships on here. I would not be looking for a red flag because a guy was making contact. If you have no issues within the relationship then it's obviously fine, if there are issues then they are the problem. I suspect there is a backstory of probelm/s otherwise you would t be looking to find something wrong.

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