Hey guys!!
I’m after a bit of relationship advice at the moment.
Bit of a back story, we been together for over two years. We been through some really tough situations in those two years but always came out at the end of it together and loving each other. I got a child from previous marriage that he says he loves and treats like his own, my son is basically head over hills with him and loves him more than anyone else.
My partner is generally a great guy, very loving, honest and hard working. However like everyone he got faults too, one of those faults I just can’t over look anymore. It’s basically that he is selfish with his time. I’m a stay at home mom (however he does NOT provide financially for us), he at the moment works full time. Always comes home to a warm home cooked meal, clean house etc, I don’t ask much of him but his love and time for us as a family. He done it before in the past where he put other people before us time wise, like he spent the time with his dad or mates etc when we haven’t spend time together as family in a very long while. I think he pretty much does it as he doesn’t think and I’m too much of a push over to bring it up everytime it happens I guess. I have brought it up in the past when it go to much and he apologised and been there for us and for a while all was well. But today honestly I feel like I been shat on, literally shat on. He has been working the last 4 weeks everyday without a day off, when he finished bit earlier in those 4 weeks he has seen his dad and his mates and then spend couple of hours with me before bed and then off to work in the morning. My son misses him like crazy and he knows it, he says he missed him too and can’t wait to spend sometime with us as family etc. This afternoon (around 3pm) he rang me saying he only got two jobs to do and the he will be home in about 30 mins and we gonna have such a good time, I tell you I cried with joy when he said this, I felt on cloud nine, like I won the lottery, I know it’s stupid but when you love someone with your whole heart spending time together is the most precious thing. He talked about how we gonna go somewhere nice for a walk and then get some food etc, he said he won’t be long and then all of a sudden added he might go and see his dad for a bit first. ( He seen his dad for 6 hours two days ago when he was supposed be spending time with us) I tell you at that moment I just thought ‘then don’t come at all, why the hell you ring me to tell me you finished early when you probably will be back 10pm’. I’m fuming, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and waited without chasing him as he said he won’t be long, but I know him so when it came my son’s tea time I made his a meal as usual as I’m not counting on his step dad being there anymore.
Fuming and hurt don’t even describe how I feel right now. I feel broken, he knows I been feeling lonely and down and was dying to spend proper time with him and he just shat on me. I’m holding it all in now as I don’t want my son seeing me upset but I could cry a river, that’s how broken I feel at the moment.
The advice I need when he comes through the door eventually tonight do I bring it up and give him a choice he can carry on being like this but on his own or he starts thinking of us too or just completely ignore him and go to bed cuz that’s pretty much what he has done to us tonight.
Is spending time together too much to ask for?? I never stop him seeing family and mates, I don’t stop him doing his hobbies or make him help around the house when he has been at work all day. I wasn’t even expecting to spend time during day time with him today, why ring me and say all that and then say actually f**k you I’m going to see someone else and then come home mega late and think everything is okay cuz he said half arsed sorry as he come through the door.