"like most relationships we have had our ups and downs"

[DillonPanthersTexas]

Often as part of the scene setting preamble on the relationship boards the above sentence is trotted out. I have always been intrigued as to what precisely this means, arguing, being emotionally distanced from each other, affairs, abuse?? I can't help but feel at times it is a deliberately nebulous term to mask perhaps some crap behaviour from the OP before they start being critical with some aspect of their DPs behaviour. Apologies for the random Sunday morning musings. Thoughts?

@FATEdestiny

My (18 year) marriage has never had ups and downs.

Our lives have had ups and downs, but our marriage has only ever been supportive and caring through lives stresses.

Whenever I read the sentence I assume the writer has a crap marriage.

Ditto. When I see that on Facebook I assume they’ve had times when they’ve nearly broken up, or that they have loads of blazing rows but think that’s normal.

I don’t think it’s sinister to describe “ups and downs” tho agree it covers a multitude of sins.

I am surprised at (tho very happy for) those who have relationships with no real arguments / rough patches / testing times.

My view of a relationship which I can only base on my own experience and those of my family I’ve seen is that everyone behaves like a twat / gets drunk / gets grumpy / goes off sex for a bit / gets stuck in a rut / feels unsupported every now and then. Things like that do cause relationship “downs” but you middle through them and realise there’s another “up” round the corner.

I agree. I'm well aware that there are a great deal more women who are settling for less.

I eye-roll when I see that sentence. To me they are trying to normalize a volatile relationship.

We have the luxury on MN to get more of the story and almost every time, it is a LTB situation.