Would this be a red flag to you?

[Nasni]

I broke up with exDP (of 15 years) 6 months ago. I live in a notoriously expensive city for renting so we're still sharing our house but with separate bedrooms. I've been chatting to someone online and he wants to meet for a date. If you were him and your date told you she was living with her ex would you run the other way?

I wouldn't believe you when you said you were separated.
Sorry.

I know that people do live with their exes for a while and really are separated but there are too many who are actually still together but claiming to be separated.
So it's a no from me.

I've seen this happen to too many couples I know to consider it a red flag. I don't think people outside London (I assume) quite understand how much of an arse it can be to move house here.

I also think anyone dating in London would consider this relatively commonplace so despite all the suspicious minds in this thread, I wouldn't worry OP. Just be open about the situation and let them meet each other if it's not awkward.

I went on a date and it became apparent that he was living with his ex.
I asked him and he said yes, he was and got really defensive when I said it wasn’t a good idea to see him again.
For me, it was too soon and we were in different places (I had gone through a break up a few years previously). I would wait.

Yeh I think anyone with healthy boundaries would run the other way on that.

All else aside if the shoe were on the other foot, would you want to get jiggy with someone who has an ex in the next room? Who for all you know, might still love them. Or might snap and burst in half way through, with a knife xD

Too risky.

I split up from my ex h and didn’t consider dating for a year. I felt I needed to provide security to my kids (they were young) and I needed time away from men. I would see it as a red flag if someone is still in the same house as their ex.

Thanks for the responses. Yes I guess if the shoe was on the other foot, I would indeed be a bit suspicious! But obviously I know things are completely done and dusted and it's ex is only here due to gathering finanaces before moving.
Just to be clear, there is absolutely no way I'd be bringing anyone back to mine while ex is still living here. That would just be ick!

But then what would you do a month or so in if sex was on the cards? I mean, presumably you could go to theres but they might have some issue or other at theirs too...or even just not want to hang at theirs every time.

*to theirs

Hey, thought I would just update...so ex moved out shortly after I posted this....and straight in to his girlfriends house!
So there was me worried about whether it was odd to have a first date while living together and he had moved straight to another full blown relationship (which I suspect had started before we'd actually broken up)🙄