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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Moving on - friendships

3 replies

Nikki078 · 07/08/2021 22:10

I'm mainly a lurker although not exactly first-time poster :) not sure why I'm writing, just to share I guess.

I met with a group friends I have not seen in a long time - we've used to meet up more but life changes - not Covid related - meant I have not seen them in a while. More of acquaitances now I guess.

From one person in partucular I was struck to hear a lot of authoritative remarks and the constant, overwhelming need to be right. About Covid, social issues, work, other people. Putdowns. Assumption that everyone thinks the same - I guess this one was the hardest for me. Picking emotive subjects others are likely to have polarised views on. I struggled to find common ground, and as time went on I realised there may not be much now.

I short - I realised I outgrew this relatioship some time ago, and perhaps those with others present will need to change as they happily went along. If anyone else here has difficult past you've had to work trough, you will know that saying 'I disagree with this' and walking away from an argument can be both very painful and very strenghtening/freeing at the same time. I'm feeling proud of myself, sad, anxious if it happens again and exhausted all at once.

OP posts:
AnotherOldGeezer · 08/08/2021 09:09

Can’t work out whether you actually said something or just wanted to

MiaRoma · 08/08/2021 09:13

When a friend or friends and I grow apart/change I just move on. I rarely if ever see the point in telling them why (although if they ask I do)

They are choosing to be a certain way..... its not my business to tell them they are wrong for me.

Just live your life without them in it. No biggie....especially as you don't see them regularly.

AnotherOldGeezer · 08/08/2021 13:24

@MiaRoma

When a friend or friends and I grow apart/change I just move on. I rarely if ever see the point in telling them why (although if they ask I do)

They are choosing to be a certain way..... its not my business to tell them they are wrong for me.

Just live your life without them in it. No biggie....especially as you don't see them regularly.

Spot on

Burning bridges is to be avoided - you don't know where or when people will turn up in the future

You may resume the friendship - I was tempted once to say what I thought. Was so glad I didn't as our friendship has restarted decades down the line

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