Fed up abusive dp

[Lifeisntwhatitshouldbe]

I’m having a really hard time at the minute. Have been with dp for 12 long years. 3dc.

I hate him. He’s taken the best years of my life and ruined me. I don’t recognise the person I am today. I just exist to take his shit. The physical mental financial abuse and the control. He’s none stop everything I do is wrong. Everything I say is wrong. He hates me I can see it in his eyes, but yet he convinces me it’s me I need help. He hasn’t done anything wrong I twist what he says. I have nothing. No financial independence nothing. The car is his I just drive it. The house is his. The kids are his. I have no family or friends. He paints such a picture of me to the outside world. He claims he rescued me. I had nothing when I met him but you know what I was doing ok with the nothing I had.

He screams and shouts at me every day. I never know whether I’m coming or going. If we go out to do something and it’s not great or he thinks it’s shit then it’s my fault. The weather is my fault that’s how hateful he is towards me.

Everything in the home is left to me childcare is left to me he does nothing. I’m not allowed to work. But then he screams at me for being lazy.

He torments the life out of me. If I’m asleep he pokes me in the eye, he flicks me hard. He constantly calls me to ask where I am what am I doing. But he can disappear for days on end. He’s still selfish and entitled every thing is about him.

Are you getting ready to leave him?

Have you thought of leaving, a refuge would be better than staying there. Hope someone comes along with more advice soon.

You have to LTB ASAP.

Please contact women’s aid.

I’ve told him it’s over. I’m just so worn out. It’s constant. He just treats me like something he’s stepped in. I’ve lost me. He tells me I’m mardy and sour faced. But having someone be on your back constantly isn’t fun. If I’m doing something he will tell me I’m doing it wrong but what’s it matter as long as it gets done. There’s no praise from him no o your doing a great job with dc don’t get me wrong I don’t want him to kiss my arse but if I’m struggling what’s the harm in him making me a brew. I have to cancel my plans or drop things for him. 100% of what I do for him he would never do for me.

I'm sorry to hear this OP. Please do contact women's aid today. They can and will help you

I cry at some point every day. I’m questioning myself constantly. He will moan the house isn’t clean so I scrub and scrub then because I’m busy he moans that I’m ignoring dc (there on school holidays). He moans I’m boring that I don’t want to do anything. He’s right I don’t because I have to get everything and everyone ready. When we go out to eat I have to order food drinks do toilet trips wipe hands faces cut food up all while he’s sat eating his food hot. Then he makes me drive ( he knows I hate driving on the motorway) but makes me anyway then he’s criticising my driving.

I don’t get a compliment ever, but he’s very quick to tell me he doesn’t like something about me.

Waking someone up and not letting them sleep is abuse. It's quite common I'm abusive relationships.

You can't go back and change the last few years. And you can't and won't change him. The only thing you can change is your own actions and future. Call Woman's Aid. But also find the local DV service on your area *NHS website has search by postcode option. Come up with a plan. Try and get some money saved. Make sure somebody knows you're leaving when you leave. If you ever feel scared call the police straight away. They are not his kids. He does not own you or them. All that energy of hating him...put it into your future. A life without him is possible and there is support put there to make it a reality but if you have to ask for it and find it. You can do it OP

I’m so sorry you are treated this way:( I’m in the same situation as you, my husband pretty much hates me and also criticise me all the time. I have a very strong personality so I never put my head down I always take him on and we fight. That’s why if the reasons he hates me, he told me many times im not a “girly girl” becouse I fight with him so he doesn’t treat me like one. You said you cry a lot :( I used to do that too, I cried a lot. My husband once told me that me crying just annoys him, it has no effect on him other than getting him annoyed. He said normally if someone you love is crying it would make him upset of course and remorseful but you need to love someone… and becouse he doesn’t love me my crying does absolutely nothing. I stopped since. I never cry any more, only ever in my bedroom when he doesn’t see it. I promised myself I will never give him this satisfaction. You are in a very difficult situation :( but you are not alone, there are other women in this situation too, I know it probably doesn’t make you feel any better but I just want you to know you are not alone ❤️