Is this normal?

[Graysea8765]

Hi all

I'm currently 8 months pregnant and have been seeing the dad for about a year. The pregnancy was unplanned, but we decided we would try and make a go of things. (We had also been seeing each other for a year on and off before this, so known each other for 2 years in total).

My question is, sometimes it still feels a little awkward between us. For example, we recently went away for a long weekend, our first mini holiday away, and at times, I felt like the silences were too long or that I was trying to think of conversation. It also sometimes feels like this when we just have an afternoon together and don't have much planned in, so are just relaxing at home. It doesn't always feel 'comfortable'.

As I said we have been seeing each other since last summer but it hasn't always been regular and we had a small break over the autumn. We also don't live together yet and he is in a different city (something which we plan to change once baby is here) so we've never really spent any real length of time together, day after day after day etc.

Ive been in a 9 year relationship before and don't ever recall it feeling like this, at the same point me and current DP are at now. Mine and my ex's first holiday away was after a year of being together and it felt great.

I do love him, we have chemistry and do get a long and can have a laugh. We've also spent evenings - pre pregnancy- having drinks and just talking all night in to the early hours.

I don't know if I'm reading too much in to it and I just need to give it time for us to continue to get to know each other and start to feel more at ease. Or if, there is something missing that will never really be there. I have brought this up with him, and he thinks we should not put pressure on the situation, that the baby has obviously excellerated things, but we should just try and go with it and not overthink things.

Just wondering what others opinions are?

It just sounds like you're not really compatible on a day to day level.

Or your communication styles are different. Does he feel them as too long silences or is he OK with it?

Well I wouldn't move in with him until you are very sure of the relationship. Keep your independence, don't rush it.

The baby will add beautiful moments but many stresses too. You will be vulnerable at times and you need to surround yourself with those who have 100% your back. If your dp proves to be that, then great, if he does not then you will have others that do.

Be very honest with yourself. If something does not feel quite right then don't ignore it. That feeling of being uncomfortable may be a niggling doubt.

We haven't really spoken about the silences specifically, more about the feeling of it feeling a little awkward/weird sometimes between us. He's said he knows what I mean, but thinks it could be because we haven't had chance to build up time together like an average couple, eg. seeing each other 2, 3, 4,5 times a week. This is due to it being on/off initially, covid restrictions, living in different cities etc.

I know he will be a fully supportive dad whether we are together or not, my concern is more to do with feelings, and not wanting to try and get hurt further down the line, when there is this doubt here now.