practical help needed

[suchatwat]

Hi Ladies, I am posting on behalf of my sister who has recently found out that her husband has been having affairs, they have been together 20 years and have 3 school age children. He has moved out of their marital home and there is absolutely no way back. She is all over the place in her head so I am trying to do the leg work for her going forward.
She has just finished a short term contract so is out of work since last week. Would she be entitled to claim anything for herself or the kids? The house is jointly owned and I think she wants to sell it and move more near family, it's all very fresh so head all over the place.
I am very concerned about her mental health and trying to get counselling for her but as that's the line of work her (abusive) husband is in she is very reluctant to go down that route, I don't live nearby which is not helpful. He has been gaslighting and emotionally abusing her for years, she doesn't know what is real anymore.
TIA x

You might be as well duplicating this port over on the legal board, I've seen some fantastic advice over there

She should be able to get help from Women's Aid and when contacting them you or she can check the STBXH has no connection to them, I'd be surprised if he did.

@mamamamaurus thanks I will x
@orgasmagorical thanks x

@mamamamaurus, sorry for being dumb, where is the legal board please? :-/

Right now she can claim universal credit (assuming UK based) and put in a claim for maintenance via CMS. These need to be a priority as they aren't back dated to when he left.

I assume she received child benefits for the DC? If not they need to be claimed first or transferred into her name.

@RandomMess thank you will pass on to her, although at the moment not sure she is able to follow through, but obviously try to help her apply x

CMS maintenance calculator and ask him for the money.

https://www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance

If he isn't amicable CMS claim ASAP. Is he self-employed or employed? The former and abusive thrown in - she should expect him to be difficult.

Employed is much easier - CMS take it from his wages if he doesn't pay.

Re house, if she has looked after children and reduced her career, she will get more than 50% in selling up. Plus pensions are shared too and all assets. Practically, get the mortgage on interest free if possible to reduce overheads. Claim benefits including child benefit as a single parent and also universal credits. None are back-dated. Do it today.

Practically, file for divorce if she has any written admission from him about the affair then file on grounds of adultery and tell him he is liable for the court fees.

If not, unreasonable behaviour and state something non- combative. It's not worth the fight. Share the court fees.

I believe you need a MIAM report now to proceed (mediation). They only need to attend one session together and agree to divorce and it should be signed off to proceed to court. There is a time limit on them. Getting to decree nisi is step one and then it doesn't matter how long it takes until you get to the final absolute.

Look for a Facebook group on DIY divorce so you know how far she can get without a solicitor. They love making money by sending stupid letters. Practically, this is not necessary.

Emotionally she must completely disengage with him. This will be the hardest hurdle. thanks

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