Feeling numb this time

[ShaaaaaalAhLah]

Hi everyone,

I don't know whether I am looking for support or opinion or what but I just want someone to hear me out.

Me and my husband have had an argument over money. It went from something small to something quite big and I have currently packed my bags and I am living at my parents - He did however follow me there but has not said a word to me since. Every couple argues, and I can get quite snappy and in essence looking back I should have just walked out the room when I saw it was getting heated. However I stay in the room and it became a full on argument and he said a few things which have stuck in my head especially the - 'I don't want to live my life like this with you, I'd rather leave as nothing is holding me back' - This hurt as we have been married 10 years and have a DC who is 2.

Normally after an argument I feel upset and feel some kind of remorse, but this time I just feel numb. I don't know something just switched off last night in me and since then I don't really have an feelings towards the argument or him. Is this the end of our relationship?

I have not seen him since last night, as when I got to my parents I took DC to sleep and just laid with DC and didn't bother to see him. I know he stayed the night at my parents as I saw his shoes before going to work this morning. His made no contact with me or didn't even come to see his DC who was obviously upstairs in bed. But am I right to think maybe this was the last straw and that's why I am feeling so numb and actually not hurting?

This sounds very difficult for your parents, having two warring people in their home.

I hope you can have a proper conversation with OH when the dust has settled a bit.

Your parents must be loving this! He shouldn't have followed you, especially not if he was going to sulk and give you the silent treatment. Is there anything in this relationship that's worth saving?

I wouldn't focus too much on what he said. Give him a chance to take it back or explain, he may have been feeling hopeless during the horrible argument.

Maybe he came to your parents as a kind of half way house effort.. But didn't speak to you as he just wasn't ready. Yes it's odd but the argument must have been really intense for you to leave.

Don't judge the future of your whole marriage based on this, as pp let the dust settle and then approach things?

He probably didn't want to disturb you if you were in a bedroom putting dc to sleep.

If it's anything like my arguments we both day things we don't mean in anger. My DH will hold onto these things, but I generally forget quickly.

I understand the numbness. That is where you go when you've had enough of feeling pain and feel hopeless. It is a bit dangerous and I suggest you try and get help together before it's a permanent feeling. You do need help to mature in your relationship so you're not running off to your parents and so you know how to resolve conflict.

OP I think only you know whether this is the end of your relationship or not? You don’t say much about how your relationship is in general?

Sorry - In general my relationship with my husband is quite good, im content, his content, we are happy, in a loving home and respect eachother. We never use foul language at eachother and his never made me feel little vice versa. We support eachother and at most times I can say his my bestest friend. However the financial aspect is somewhat linked to his family - who demand money off my husband and I as we are both financially comfortable. My husband is naïve and feels his obliged to provide for them but in my head I've grown up to think people pay for themselves and that's where we clash. I don't think his confident enough to say no to his family and he cant say yes to me because he knows I will get upset but that fills him up and then he gets all stressed. I don't mind help the one off because that's what family are for, but requiring a monthly allowance and topped up by any other sudden expenditure is a bit too much for anyone! they give him a lot of guilty treatment and use the culture card on him