Desperate need for advice...

[Soozbuck]

Hi everyone, so I need some advice.
When I was 8 months pregnant I found out my partner was having an affair with his co-worker. He said he ended it and I stayed with him.
The night before I went in for my scheduled c-section I found out that the affair was still happening so I broke it off with him.

Whilst I was in hospital we were civil and once I was home with baba we started to get along better and eventually ended back up in a relationship. Our daughter was born with a rare chromosome disorder so this has brought us somewhat closer.

A few months ago I noticed I had been having what I thought was reoccurring thrush. After a visit to the GP I was told I have genital herpes. I have never had a STD. And it’s quite obvious where it came from. He didn’t get tested as they won’t test you unless you have symptoms which he didn’t have any.
We stayed together.

Now a few months down the line I still think about the affair daily and how he fucked me over at the time I needed him the most. It’s causing me to struggle to sleep and my confidence is at an all time low, And now I have to live with a life long disease because of his infidelity.
Plus- who would want to have a relationship with me now, knowing I could pass the STD onto them.

Do I stay for the sake of our child? Or do I leave?
I love him but things just aren’t the same anymore. Plus, I don’t even know what to do.. we rent a house from his sister so I’d have to move out but moving back to my parents isn’t an option as there’s not enough room.
How do I secure a house for me & my daughter?
Also, I am on maternity leave so obviously my pay is absolutely shocking.
He has 2 young daughters from a previous relationship and I’m so close with them so if we split I won’t see them again.

I have ended it a month or so ago but after a chat and a couple of days I took him back. I think I'm just confused and struggling.

I just want advice really. If anyone can help.
Only my best friend knows about his affair, None of my family know.

Sorry for the long post and thank you in advance.

I couldn't stay with someone who had an affair let alone when you are pregnant with his baby.

This happened to me - whether he actually had an affair with someone I don't know, but I know he tried it on with a close friend whilst i was in hospital because of pregnancy issues. He went on to cheat with at least one person. I tried to forgive him because we had a baby together but I just couldn't trust him and it is hard to be in a relationship with no trust.

But really, what does it say about someone who has an affair when their partner is pregnant??

@Sakurami

I couldn't stay with someone who had an affair let alone when you are pregnant with his baby.

This happened to me - whether he actually had an affair with someone I don't know, but I know he tried it on with a close friend whilst i was in hospital because of pregnancy issues. He went on to cheat with at least one person. I tried to forgive him because we had a baby together but I just couldn't trust him and it is hard to be in a relationship with no trust.

But really, what does it say about someone who has an affair when their partner is pregnant??

Thanks for your reply. Im sorry to hear that you had to go through this too. You seem incredibly strong which is something I feel that I' m not. If you don't mind me asking- How did you manage as a single parent regarding housing? I think it's pretty obvious what I want to do but im just so scared of actually taking the jump and going for it alone with my daughter

He's cheated and lied to you more than once. It's clearly affecting how you feel about the relationship so in the long run is this really going to work out? Also think about the impact on your DD if you split up and get back together repeatedly as she gets older and understands more, or if she sees you staying in an unhappy relationship. That will be really unsettling for her, not beneficial.

Also fear of not meeting someone else isn't a reason to stay. Herpes is a common skin virus and doesn't have to be a barrier to dating. If you're honest about it and the person is genuinely interested in you, there will be a way to work through it. You might even find it's a good way of filtering out the losers!

I was working and bought him out .

Have a look at what you would be entitled to.

And don't worry. You can stay living together but not be in a relationship until you're in a place you can separate. I'm sure his sister wouldn't chuck you out with a new baby?