Making contact re being friends after breakup

[Hugefanofcheese]

I broke up with a man about 3-4 weeks ago. We got on really well and there was a lot of attraction but a big practical roadblock we couldn't work around so ended things amicably. We have been NC since breakup chat.

I miss him a lot. We had a lot in common and I genuinely liked him. It's not a debilitating heartbreak. I'd have loved things to work out as a couple, but I feel like I would genuinely like to be friends. It's not about accepting any old crumbs, more that I actually like this person. If I'm honest, some of his traits might have worn a bit thin in a partner for me (nothing terrible, he was just a bit formal and set in his ways sometimes) but would be fine in a friend.

To be completely honest again, I'm not sure I would want to hear about his dating life just yet but in time, think that would be fine. I've been looking on OLD again myself as I want a family and don't have a lot of time to waste.

I would at some point like to get in touch and suggest friendship. I don't know how he will reply or how he feels. He might knock me back.

How long would any of you suggest waiting and any ideas for opening up this conversation? We don't have any friends, work or hobbies in common and are quite unlikely to cross paths as we don't live that close. Maybe ask how he is and an in joke, then see how he feels about staying in touch?

I’d leave it for at least six months; or at least until you’ve met somebody else and had a few good dates with them and it feels like it’s going somewhere. By that point, you’ll know whether you want to get in touch because you’d actually like to be his friend because he was interesting; or whether you just want to get in touch because you’re secretly still hoping you could work out the road block issue and rekindle the relationship.

You definitely cannot be friends with him until u feel unaffected by his dating life

Much too soon.

OP - to give you a perspective from the other side: I was broken up with and my ex suggested being friends straight away.
This was way too soon and I felt he completely disregarded my feelings and my heartache for his own benefit. He was surprised I didn’t want to be friends; I felt hurt he was able to shift from love to friendship so soon.
I am friendly - but I’m not ready to be friends yet. Maybe it’ll change with time.
Give it a few good months and then test the waters carefully.

Thanks everyone, I am grateful for the consensus that it's too early. I was worrying about leaving it too late and it coming out of the blue.

comtesse tbh there is an element of wishing for a different outcome (I think it won't take too long for me to realise this is for the best).

Malena thank you so much for your perspective and I'm sorry for what happened. My self esteem is quite low so what I assume is that he wouldn't really be that bothered or hurt at losing me, although he said the opposite, and was upset.