Never felt more alone

[jesswilsx]

So I’m pregnant with my third child (I have 2 year old twin boys already from a previous relationship). However, my current relationship is just a mess.

Since finding out I was pregnant, he’s just become really distant. He’s drinking a lot, and when we argue, he can be really hurtful. We don’t live together thankfully so I can just ignore the messages I receive but it’s impacting me a lot.

His ex girlfriend killed herself 3 years ago (they weren’t together at the time she did, she was in a new relationship) and when he drinks that’s all he talks about. He says it haunts him and he wants to be with her. It makes me feel awful. I think he would rather she was the mother of this child and not me.

I want to feel loved and supported but I’ve never felt more alone. I’m struggling with my mental health, but nobody is there for me. I’m 25+5 days pregnant, and I’m still not excited for this baby. I love him, and I love feeling him move but I don’t have the motivation to go out and buy clothes or bits for him like I did with my twins.

I guess I just wanted to share. I don’t know what to do. He tells me he loves me and wants to be with me, and I’ve given him every opportunity to leave, but I don’t feel that love, especially when he’s drinking because his ex becomes more important than me.

Hi OP. I'm really sorry you're having such a hard time
He sounds like he's pushing you away when this should be one of your happiest times together. Was it a mutual decision to have a baby? Has he sought any help over his ex girlfriend?

@NoPrivateSpy

Hi OP. I'm really sorry you're having such a hard time He sounds like he's pushing you away when this should be one of your happiest times together. Was it a mutual decision to have a baby? Has he sought any help over his ex girlfriend?

Hi, it was a mutual decision. He probably wanted a baby more than I did. I know he had help when it first happened, and he was diagnosed with PTSD (linked to other things too). He told me he’s moved on, it’ll always be with him, but it doesn’t affect him anymore. Obviously that’s not true

Oh, that's incredibly hard. Sounds like he has quite a bit more work to do.

Do you love him? Do you want to make it work? You can't look after everyone in the family. The resentment will eat away at you and you'll feel even more alone.

Is there anyone IRL that is supporting you?

Bless your heart , it sounds like he is struggling with the pregnancy, if he is drinking more ? Its hard but you have to put in your head this isn't your fault and you are doing your best. I'm in a very similar position, my dp begged me to have a child with him (have 3 dc previous relatuinship) and due to my age of 36 time isn't on my side , I went ahead and I'm now 27 weeks. He is smoking too much and becoming paranoid , I've asked him to leave and I'm so lonely like yourself but I have to keep going , god bless you, it will get better x