Does she genuinely want to be friends again??

[mixedmama]

An old friend of mine has been sending me messages on Facebook. She actually sends them from her daughter who I was very close to who is now about 5. I desperately miss her and her daughter but I know from her Facebook page that she is still in regularr contact with the ex-friend who I feel is responsible for our friendship finishing. She hasnt mentioned meeting up or anything like that and the messages are very how are you, etc.

The other girl who she is still in contact with is very petty and manipulative and I wonder if she is influencing her to contact me andd just playing with me.

I am at the moment letting her lead the emails and only respondding rather than initiating. We were so close before and I have found it really hard forr us not to be friends and it upsets me alot sometimes.

Do you think it is genuine?

if she is making advances towards you, then she must genionely be trying to take tentative steps towards re-kindling soe kind of arealtionship, aybe she feels sill about how things ended.
If, on the other hand , she is a grown woan being guided by another to play silly games to upset yyou, thn she is crazyy and to be avoided at all costs

The other person is I believe actullay quite crazy and has in the past done very strange things to exact revenge on people etc to the point one of her exes actually went to a solictor and provided all of her texts and emails because she harrassed him so much. Cut holes in his ummbrella and so forth and so much more.

My worry is that she is the one behind it as she is childish enough to do something like this.

Also, what do you think about the fact that she is sending the emails from her daughter?? Her daughter and I were very close. Of ccourse I know she cannot send them, but just wonder why she wouldnt email directly.

Impossible to say. Would just take it very slowly and respond nicely to her e-mails but not initiate anything until you are sure of her motives. If she does all the running, they can be trying to paly with you all they like but they won't get anything out of it.

Why not arrange a meeting face to face, with her & her daughter & talk it over. Very hard to judge on-line I feel.

At least in person you'll be able to see what is really being sais ie see her face & hear the tone of voice which can make messages mean so many different things!

Nowhere too quiet, maybe a cafe or somewhere ou can hve lunch/coffee?

Thats what I thought Goosey, just respond and see what happens. Part of me knows that that if it isnt genuine I will be so upset and I do miss her and her daughter so much. I have never been able to have a friend since who i could talk to and spend time with in the same way.

just got another message that ended with "mummy says hello".

replied with a little for her daughter and then a direct bit for my friend, just seeing if she done a course that she wanted.

does anyone else think iit would be a good idea to meet or should i let her suggest it.

If you really think that they might be stringing you along and would be upset by any rejection, I would leave it for a while before I suggested anything. If she e-mails you again, you could be more friendly in your reply and see what happens.

Message withdrawn

will def play it by ear and see what happens.

I wouldn't get back in touch. I can tell fromyour posts that this wasn't a good/ secure time in your life. Do you want to go back there?

banana - when we were friends everything in my life was pretty hunky dorey. i didnt mean to give that impression.

the way the friendship ended is what bothers me in that the other friend is still on the scene and I certainly dont wnat anything to do with her.

becoming friends again is certainly somethingg i would want, but just dont want to be the one leading the way.

This happened to me, an old friend started sending me messages through FriendsReunited and then out of the blue, another girl started sending me messages making out that she didn't realise my old friend had too.

In the end they both stopped abruptly leading me to believe it was some kind of game they were playing between them.

The other friend has not contacted me and I doubt she would tbh and if she did in no uncertain terms would be told where to go.

it is difficult because we were so close and i always think about her and her daughter and i am just finding it hard to detach myself.

well it sounds like you have been polite and i would guess that your friend likes being able to contact you

however, i think she should have contacted you in a more mature, direct way - she sounds pretty drippy to be honest so even though you are in contact, is she really going to be the friend you want her to be?

dont know newgirl. i am am really hoping so, but just trying to take her lead really.

MM it could be she's testing the water through her daughter. If you keep the messages friendly but non-commital then graually maybe you can see where it leads.

When the time is right (IF it gets to that stage) & at a point where you feel comfortable with it, suggest to her that you email directly & take it from there. You could always set up one of those freebie email addys so that if you get any hassle it could just be dropped.

Dificult one for you- good luck!

Yesterday her message was directly from her and very friendly and jusst chatty. I think prob as before i joined Facebook she contacted a mutual friend and asked about both of us and the friend blocked her so i think she was thinking i would be more receptive to it this way.

I am def just going to let her do the leading and see what happens.

Very wise... keep it chatty & friendly & see what happens - if you were close in the past it would be a shame to miss out on that again for want of trying!